Matthew Zachary Liu | Blog

Future updates

2011-08-01T07:41:00.000+08:00

I've moved from this blog to Facebook.

So all my future updates will be on Facebook instead..

Add me if you'd like to:

facebook.com/matthew.singapore

For media or hosting engagements:

buzzmatt@live.com

Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen

2010-09-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

My Youth Olympic Games moments, memories, friends and dreams..

True Story

2010-08-14T08:00:00.000+08:00

14th August 2010 will officially write a new chapter in Singapore and Olympic history. The very first Youth Olympic Games will finally begin at the Opening Ceremony with 27, 000 spectators live at the Marina Bay floating platform and 2 billion viewers across the world..

I don't think I can even begin to describe how I feel. Its truly the greatest privilege and honor to be part of this amazing occasion. On a personal note, it marks a very special milestone in what has been an incredible journey thus far..

It feels absolutely surreal just thinking back on how it all began. I was 14 then, and I was already sure I wanted to be a radio producer-presenter.. it has always been (and still is) my childhood ambition. I want(ed) to be that relatable personality on the air to people, one that makes them think, appreciate or feel appreciated and happy, every single time I go on air.. that has always been the dream and promise; it hasn't changed.

I never thought about or wanted to be a host.

The very first event I ever hosted in my life was a punishment for talking too much in class. That was a total disaster and I quite literally ended up being the biggest joke of the school. But for some reason, instead of saying "shit, i won't ever do this again", I was fired up with a new passion and determination. That began my journey as a host..

7 incredible years of many firsts and milestones. From the virgin school stage, to my first public event, camps, concerts, the first massive crowd, the time I hosted infront of our Prime Minister (and I still remember almost dying from fear), the beginning of major and international events.. World Cups, Asian Youth Games, Singapore Idol, media launches, and now the Youth Olympic Games.

Some people look at what i've achieved and simply say "this boy got lucky". To be completely honest, it really hurts whenever people dismiss the hard work and effort i've made to be where i'm at now.

It hasn't been an easy journey at all. There were times I had serious doubts and thoughts of quitting, to give up fighting the fight. Many occasions where I completely crashed from exhaustion physically and fear emotionally and psychologically. I've taken a lot of unassured risks, made many painful sacrifices, faced and still do get rejected or passed on by, get slammed, been subjected to a lot of public scrutiny, hate and shit..

People still and will always be saying hurtful and critical things which inevitably affects me. But I won't ever do things just for the sake of saying "i'll prove you wrong", i'll listen to what I have to and continue to challenge and strive to better myself because to me, the greatest joy is simply being able to do what I love, the best I can and be happy.

And I am happy.. and grateful.

Grateful for every opportunity and experience good and bad. Grateful especially for the friends, loved ones and people who believe in me.. and i'd also like to make a special note of thanks to Mark Richmond. I am the person I am and where i'm at today because of the love from these very special people in my life who've been supporting and encouraging me all the way through each chapter in my life.

To you guys.. thank you.

Tonight, the next chapter will be written. Dreams beyond what i've ever dared to dream are now a reality. But it doesn't end here. I will keep on working hard, doing my best; always appreciating the moments and people.. and continue sharing these experiences of my life and dreams with you. Maybe someday my stories will even give strength and encouragement to someone, somewhere, somehow.. and they too will go on to make an impact in their own lives and dreams. That will be totally inspiring.

Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen.. believe in them, do everything you can to make it happen, and never ever forget to be grateful and appreciate every experience and person along the way. True story :)

Opening of *SCAPE

2010-07-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

Fellow co-hosts and future colleagues (maybe?)

Inch Chua

One of the best and my personal favorite local singer

DJ Inquisitive getting the party started

But everyone were mostly there for these guys

Flew down all the way from the States just for the opening

MAE

The most down to earth bunch of rock stars i've ever met

*SCAPE: Embrace the Now

Photos taken by Asyraf

My Dream Girl

2010-07-02T07:44:00.000+08:00

5am.. awake. Awaken from a sweet dream that felt so vivid, so real. I like falling asleep and drifting away to the unpredictable dreamland but its so cruel waking up only to realize that it was but a dream..

I never thought love would ever happen but it did. Like a movie scene, it played our beautiful romance. From the very first moment our eyes met, the first hello, the shy smitten smile that stayed frozen on our faces, the crazy pact we made there and then to run away from our lives to spend the day together, the song I composed from my heart and sang to you as you laid in my arms watching the stars above us. It was perfect..

But I woke up.

Even then, I was still in denial that it was just a dream. You and everything else felt so real, like it really did happen! I picked up my phone scrolling through my contacts wanting to call you.. then it hit me that you really existed only in that dream where we met and fell in love.

I tried desperately to fall asleep again, to seep back into our dream.. but I couldn't. You were gone, just a beautiful memory from a dream, my "dream girl" who made me believe that someday I will fall in love with you.. I just haven't met you yet.

Dancing in the rain

2010-06-15T11:27:00.000+08:00

The clap of thunder echoed menacingly. He looked up at the evening sky; the beautiful setting sun was fast hiding away behind the dark looming clouds. He too hastened his steps, wanting to hide. But just as he was about to break into a run, the first cold drop struck him, trickling slowly down his cheek like a disguised tear drop still holding on to yesterday..

Sigh. He knew what was coming, the smell, the feeling.. too familiar. Two seconds later, the heavens opened. Like a shower head turned on at full blast, it poured mercilessly, completely drenching him to a state of reality.

He stood rooted, shutting his eyes, letting the rain wash away the pain and misery. Pitter patter. The rain soaking his senses. He felt alive again. He is alive! He shuffled his feet, he wiggled his hands, he spun, he jumped, he danced in the rain. The tears flowed. For the first time in a long while, he smiled. He was and is happy.. truly happy.

K Pop Talent 2010

2010-06-12T10:10:00.002+08:00

My very first Korea-related event!

A talent contest supported by the Korean Embassy and Korean Tourism Board

For those who love kpop music, dance and the groups

And possibly even discovering Singapore's next big thing

I'm telling you.. we too have got some massive talents!

Some of the performances were just.. awesome.

Its beautiful how music can connect and bring people together

Jojo

2008 Kpop Talent Champion

And the new 2010 winners.. Xynee!

Congrats girls and (okay i'll say it) yay to Korean pop music! :)

Photos taken by Justin Doan

Are We Too Virtually Connected?

2010-05-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

For the past 10 minutes, I was just staring at all the live updates flooding my facebook newsfeed. A lot of the status updates were quite interesting with the exception of some silly ones, a few people were declaring their love while there were others who were evidently in a bad mood..

It was a constant stream of by-the-second updates about people's lives, thoughts, mood, relationship status and more. But that was when this thought hit me.. have all these forms of online communication (twitter, tumblr, blogs, MSN, etc) made us way too connected?

I mean, its totally awesome that we have such networks that connects us with friends anywhere in the world, especially long lost ones from our childhood days, but are we becoming too virtually reliant in our relationship with them?

There was a time, when we'd actually miss our friends we lost touch with for months or those who went overseas, because our means of communication was compromised. We'd always look forward to their return because then we'd arrange to meet to catch up and update each other about all that's been happening in our lives.

These days, how many times have we been guilty of making empty promises online that "we have to catch up soon!" but never did. Why? Well maybe because we are already so well informed by all the in-our-face updates about our friends' lives so much so that we perhaps feel there's no actual need to meet up to talk or catch up in person..

Simply put, the reason for wondering what's going on in each other's lives, for missing friends.. is now filled by the very presence of this convenient connectivity online. Its sad but true that we're all taking for granted and unintentionally forsaking actual face to face quality time because we probably feel that we already "see them" in all their latest photo uploads anyway.

But while staying in touch online every other second is great, nothing still beats an actual meet up. We may all have a lot of different reasons and explanation but one factor that I personally feel is important in every relationship, is the human touch.

I'm sure you've had those days when you updated your twitter or facebook status about a super happy news you were bursting to tell someone or maybe a night when you were feeling shitty and deep inside all you needed and really wanted was for someone to be there for you. All the comments of concern, congrats and virtual hugs just don't quite feel the same, do they?

I guess being there for a friend ought to mean being there physically from time to time and during significant occasions as well. There are certain feelings or emotions we may not always be able to accurately convey through written words. Sometimes, we and/or our friends don't even want to say much but simply long for a friend to be right beside us, sharing our joy, offering a shoulder to cry on or the comfort of a heartfelt embrace. These are things no amount of technology advancements can ever fill or replace.

Busy schedules may at times be an obstacle and not all of us are social butterflies (as in, we may not actually want to meet up with anyone and everyone) but if you're on holidays right now, maybe its a good time to meet up with the friends you really want to and not just say "we should catch up". Make that effort and initiate something.

I think its important for all of us to make time for the people who matter regardless of how crazy life gets. True that it may not be about the amount of times we hang out with them that defines a relationship, but hey its still about making the effort to maintain a meaningful one. Its about the human touch.

Remember all the memories and good times with our pals? Moments we laughed out loud, moments of meaningful silence, moments where we saw each other at our best and most vulnerable state, moments when we were there for each other, not just spiritually or virtually but physically as well? Perhaps now's a good time to continue creating those moments..

Interview with SHINee & Bobby Kim

2010-05-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

Press conference for Korean Drama Concert

Covering the event as a vlogger and journalist

Oh Joonsung

The composer for many popular Korean drama music

SHINee

Special guest performers at the concert

Tae Min, Onew, Jong Hyun, Key, Min Ho

Bobby Kim

"The Godfather of Korean soul"

Best and favorite celebrity interview i've ever done

Bobby's one awesomely cool Korean-American singer!

The man behind most of the korean hit songs
_

Photos taken by Asyraf

Long Bus Rides To Nowhere

2010-04-23T09:19:00.001+08:00

I love boarding the morning bus after the rush hour when its not so crazy. Seats aplenty and evident peace and calm. Everything moves along at a much slower pace. A stark contrast to the mad scene it would've been earlier..

Up on to the bus, greeting the bus captain with a smile and making my way to an empty seat at the back of the bus. I don't ever jack my ears with blasting music in an attempt to shut myself off from the world, instead i'll just observe everyone and everything around me.

The changing scenery outside, the different people boarding and alighting the bus. All these faces, they each have a story to tell. All these places, they all have a history. Quite often, I drift off into my world of thoughts..

I guess its moments like these when we take a moment to observe the world around us that we actually realize certain things that might never have crossed our minds. Sometimes we may even end up appreciating things and people just a little bit more.

I like long bus rides. Just sitting, observing and thinking. One day soon, i'm going to take an entire day off my everyday life and just get lost on a long bus ride adventure to nowhere. That'll be cool. Maybe even special.. someday with her beside me.

Singapore Idol Grand Finals

2010-02-11T01:00:00.001+08:00

An unbelievable dream come true

Hosting for Singapore Idol at the Indoor Stadium

The 8,000 people strong atmosphere was electrifying

It only meant one thing..

It was going to be one heck of a great night!

The final showdown between these two lovely people

Sezairi Sezali

The talented musician who've always dreamt of that one big break

His mother must be one extremely proud parent

Sylvia Ratonel

The girl with the dream of becoming a singer on the big stage

Her dad letting everyone know that Sylvia's his darling angel

After the 3 performances of their lives

It was all up to Singapore to vote and decide

Back at the stadium, the show went on with more performances

Hosting together with these two geniuses - The Muttons

Such a hilariously unforgettable experience!

Season 2 winner Hady Mirza

Performing alongside Sezairi and Charles

Tabitha and Sylvia

Setting fire on stage with their sizzling performance

She blew everyone away with her superb vocals!

Taufik Batisah

Our very first Singapore Idol

And finally, it was time to crown our new Singapore Idol

Sezairi Sezali

Singapore Idol 2009

Congrats and all the best bro!

This is only the beginning of an amazing dream journey ahead of you..

The dudes of Idol plus Tabby

The beautiful Malaque

She's simply awesome (but eh someday I want to try your cooking for real k!)

Farhan & Tabitha

The two heart throbs i'm always teasing through the season

Chilling out with the rest at the after party

And with that, our Singapore Idol journey finally comes to an end..

Its been a good run guys! :)

Photos taken by Asyraf

Update

2010-02-06T08:02:00.000+08:00

Okay i'm seriously annoyed as I type this because Blogger's still being all weird. Its like, I do want to write about a lot of things running through my head these days, but I get put off by how messed up my page looks.

Hmm.. I've been receiving quite a few once-in-a-lifetime opportunities recently but I think its really important not to get carried away and saying yes to every single amazing invitation. I really need to take time to ask myself if its the right thing and time to do so.

Seize the moment, yes, but am I even ready for that moment?

I believe there's always a right moment for everything, sometimes we have to take risks to discover that "right moment". But I personally feel that it should never be at the expense of others suffering because you weren't ready for it.

I'm humbled that people see something in me to offer such unbelievable opportunities but I want to be able to confidently accept knowing that i'm ready and will deliver something special. Right now, "doing my best" is still not good enough and I know it. I've declined some of these offers but I'm not giving up. I'm going to be working harder and pushing myself further.

But I'm still damn excited because besides hosting and all, i'll be embarking on a few personal projects that i've always wanted to start on. And I also want to do fun stuff like soccer, beach hang out, stay overs, all-you-can-eat buffets, bowling, movies at the actual damn cinema and a whole lot of other things together with friends this holidays.

I've been chasing my dreams but its time to start living life a lot more meaningfully as well. The road's not always going to be all cheery but i'm just going to try to wake up each morning with a smile and be that little positive difference. Its going to be awesome days ahead.. happy holidays! :)

Channel 5 Charity Car Wash

2010-01-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

Charity Car Wash @ Dempsey Hill

Jean Danker

She was the one who first believed

and advised me on my radio dream 6 years ago

The Singapore Idol Top 8 doing their bit for charity

And boy were they mobbed by their paparazzi fans

So they kindly obliged with a little group song performance

Then it was time for some real work

Sylvia all smiles soaping up the cars

Faizal really getting it on

Duane the donation tin man

And Sezairi giving the final shiny touch with his megawatt smile

Over on the Singapore Idol Alumni side

It was a different sort of transportation wash

It definitely wasn't an easy task working hard out in the sun

The Singapore Idols of then and now

Having a little chat with the other celebrity teams

They were the kids from two of Channel 5's local dramas

The cast of First Class

And the cast of Fighting Spiders

Shijie trying to raise donations with his boyish charms

While the Party of 5 having a splashing fun time hosing down cars

With their very hot teacher I might add

Discussing the price tag for Bobby Tonelli to take his shirt off..

The highest bidder donated $300 to see just that

Money well donated for charity

And sight much appreciated by all the ladies

So was Jade Seah going to take her top off as well?

Well maybe someday when the right man comes along

But while we're on the topic of going topless and flaunting it..

..who better than the hunks of Polo Boys themselves!

And definitely not forgetting the two babes with them

The beautiful and really nice pair

Claire Jedrek & Michelle Chia

In a combined team effort, the cast of Polo Boys were taking on..

..the sizzling hot girls of FHM

Its not everyday that you have Adrian Pang wiping your windscreen

Or see Michelle getting all wet.. washing cars.

Every one simply loved these guys we always see on tv

So much so that even the little ones wanted to help them out!

Nat Ho really working his smile and star power to attract customers

On the opposite side, business was not as good for the FHM girls

So they thought of a new strategy..

Car wash in their bikinis!

And that really helped raise the donations on their side

They managed to raise the second highest amount at this charity event

Well done girls!

But the dudes from Polo Boys raised the most money overall

Now how's that for guy power!

Channel 5 Charity Car Wash

It was a good day out in the sun washing cars for a very good cause!

Photos taken by Kenny Leong

My Stories of 2010

2010-01-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

2009 was and is always going to be remembered as one of the most incredible chapters of my life. A year where childhood dreams beyond my craziest imaginations became a reality. Asian Youth Games, Singapore Idol, international World Cups.. unbelievable opportunities and experiences that i'm eternally grateful for.

But through January 2010, I went on a hiatus from writing and everything else because I was actually on the verge of a major break down and even contemplated giving up. I badly needed to get away from it all, I needed time and space alone to breathe.

Thing is, although 2009 was pretty awesome in so many ways, it was also one of the most exhausting and painful year i've ever had to live through. In pursuit of my dreams, I had to make sacrifices. Sacrifices that broke my heart, sacrifices that were creating severe repercussions in my life. It was a constant contradiction of emotions. I was achieving my goals, living my dreams.. but always wondering if I was truly happy.

Thankfully during this period of recuperation, I had the chance to reflect upon a lot of things.. one of them being what I really want to change about my life and self for the year ahead. I guess i've come to that point in my journey where being the best and striving for perfection isn't everything to me anymore. I may never be the smartest, luckiest, most talented or good looking but so what? I just want to be genuinely happy and grateful for all the amazing things and people around me.

My 2010 isn't going to be just about dreams, its going to be one with meaningful purpose. I definitely will continue pushing boundaries but this time, no matter how many rejections and failures i'll face, I want to be able to say that I tried and tried to overcome.. with a smile.

A Note From You

2010-01-03T18:05:00.010+08:00

I'm taking a break from writing. This blog will hence remain un-updated indefinitely. But as I take time to reorganize my thoughts and goals for the new year, I'd really like to hear from you (who've always been or maybe even just started reading my blog recently).

I understand many of you are comfortable simply browsing and probably find it troublesome or unnecessary to leave your comments but for this particular entry, before I embark on a new chapter and year on this site, i'd like to invite you to share your thoughts about my blog or perhaps even leave an anonymous message to me if you wish to, in the comments section of this post.. :)

A Night of Dreams & Reality

2009-12-27T11:00:00.005+08:00

One day back in the month of May, while Afiq and I were recording one of our covers (the video's under the Song Covers category), we actually shared this crazy dream publicly.. the possibility of Afiq joining Singapore Idol and actually winning while I stand on that same stage hosting.

Whoever watched that video then probably had a good laugh. Truth was, we meant that as a complete joke. I mean, the odds of that happening in this season's Singapore Idol was virtually impossible.

But deep down, that dream of some day hosting on one of the nation's biggest stage was already etched in my heart and I was determined to work really hard to make that dream a reality. I just never in my craziest fantasy expected it to happen in this season of Singapore Idol..

Tonight, standing on that stage at the indoor stadium infront of 8,000 people was truly a personal testimony of how dreams can really come true. Not just my own, but the dreams of every other person in the Idol family and especially Sezairi.

Some of you might not agree with the results and may have a thing or two to say, but even though we all have our own opinions and the right to voice them.. we should remember that whatever we say will be a reflection of who we are as a person.

Through this Idol journey, i've had the privilege of getting to know Sezairi and Sylvia not just as superstars on screen but intimately for who they truly are. These are two individuals who've worked so hard and have had to brave through extreme criticisms and sacrifices in the road towards their dreams.

To me, the results were secondary because both of them were already winners of life in my eyes. The two of them, along with the rest of the beautiful individuals from the Idol family who've shared and made this journey special together are people i'm inspired by and friends i'm really proud of.

So i'd like to make a public appeal on my blog particularly to the people that I know.. you may not like the show or you might disagree with the results but please don't go so low as to openly insult Sezairi, Sylvia or any of the other Idol contestants. I'll get pissed off with you if you do.

Anyway, tonight was a tremendous night. I was initially trembling more from fear than excitement just moments before stepping on one of the biggest stage yet. But when it was finally over, I stood in the middle of the empty stadium, looked around and just went "wow".

Tonight was a night of dreams and reality. One of the best moment and most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life that i'll remember for as long as I live. On an ending note, i'd like to dedicate tonight and this entry to every one of you who dares to dream and believe..

"Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen"

Matthew Zachary Liu

To a beautiful girl and sister..

2009-12-26T20:45:00.000+08:00

Cheryl Choy Min

With the mister.

Hahah!

A special present from us to capture this special occasion

Winning Eleven's first almost complete polaroid picture!

And I got this really awesome and meaningful gift

from Shawn Ting

A pen with my name engraved on it

Means a lot to me, thanks bro!

With love from us always,

Happy 19th Birthday Cher!

Christmas Love

2009-12-25T08:30:00.003+08:00

On Christmas day, there's a warm tingling feeling in my heart. There's a smile I can't wipe off my face. It's a different kind of love. Its a love that I truly cherish with all my heart. Its a love of the most beautiful memories with the most amazing people..

Today, on this special occasion, i'd just like to take a moment to write a note of gratitude to you guys who've made a massive impact in my life. Everything that has happened thus far definitely wouldn't have been the same without you. All my dreams wouldn't have meant anything without you by my side through it all..

Family

If it wasn't for my family, there'd never be me. Even though i've not exactly been the most filial son and loving brother, deep down my parents and siblings are the most important people in my life. I will always be eternally grateful towards my parents especially, for welcoming me into this world in their loving arms and bringing me up the way they did. This Christmas, i'm glad we're spending time at home together as a family.

Friends

I may seem to know a lot of people, but that doesn't necessarily mean I regard everyone as a friend. Friendship may mean different things to different people at different times but friendship is simply to me, the special relationship between you and I. We may not talk or hang out that often, some of us might even have drifted but I just want you to know that I do cherish the meaningful conversations and good memories we shared and I hope we can continue creating more of such moments together. So whether we've gotten to know each other from school, Ambassadors, Youth Olympic Games, Singapore Idol, or maybe even through some unique situation or place, I thank you.. for being my friend.

Mentors

You've been there guiding me through all these experiences in the industry and life that is still very new to me. So many times I could've lost focus and myself but you always took time to sit down or email me, sharing your words of wisdom and advices. Thank you for believing in me and being such a huge positive influence. I sincerely appreciate and will never forget everything that you've said and done.. you've been and will always be a massive impact in my life and journey towards my dreams.

Readers

Fact is, my blog isn't exactly one of the most controversial, sensational or even interesting daily read. I took on a different angle at some point and its been pretty much my journal of memories and portfolio of experiences ever since. Yet, you continue reading and I just want to say that I really appreciate you taking time to read my blog and occasionally leaving your insightful and encouraging comments. Thank you for going on this journey with me as I share my stories.

Best friends

You've seen me at my best, my worst and sometimes you probably even know me better than I know myself. Yet despite knowing all my imperfections, you still always stand by me, never judging but simply loving and accepting me for who I am. You were there when I first shared my life and dreams with you and someday when all these eventually fades away, I know that you'll still be there because you've made me believe in our friendship that will last a lifetime.

Hmm.. I can continue writing this for hours and still no amount or expression of words will ever be able to convey my gratitude and love for you. If i've never said this to you enough, I really hope you know now how precious you are to me.

Thank you for always believing and encouraging me on with all your meaningful messages, a hug or a smile. It means so much and I honestly wouldn't be where and who I am today without your support. Thank you for being amazing just by being you. I'm truly grateful having you in my life.. you're the best gift that i've ever had.

With love,

Merry Christmas!

Ambassadors Christmas Party

2009-12-24T21:59:00.001+08:00

A candy, presents and joy filled Christmas

Deck the pool side in christmas cheer!

A time to catch up with old friends

And to meet the bros again

The best part about christmas dinner isn't always the food..

..its being in the company of loved ones

The people who've been there all year round

The ones you appreciate having in your life

And everything else you're grateful for

So on Christmas day..

..this is how we show our love

Have yourself a wet Christmas! ;)

All I want this Christmas

2009-12-23T11:47:00.000+08:00

I admit, i've been way too busy practically all of this year. For days, weeks and months, my schedule has been packed back to back by the hour. It was always projects, meetings, events and more. I hardly ever had time for myself let alone friends or family..

So many times i've had to turn down invitations, it really broke my heart every time I had to reply "i'm sorry but I can't" to friends because of something or somewhere else that I had to be at. I was constantly making sacrifices but always wondering if I was making the right one?

This Christmas all the way to the New Year, i'll have to turn down all the invitations again.. in fact, I already did. I've declined every invitation and opportunity to attend or host some of the most glamourous Christmas and Countdown parties..

Because all I want this Christmas and last few days of the year, is some quiet time to reflect and be grateful. And more importantly, I really want to spend a meaningful time with my family and the people I love.

Inspired by a Toddler

2009-12-21T08:04:00.002+08:00

A toddler bumped into me and fell onto the ground. She didn't cry. Instead, when I reached out my hand to help her back up on her feet, she gave me the most beautiful giggly smile and then attempted to walk again..

A little angel and hope sent to me in this moment of despair, a period where the stress and pressure of life was again starting to take its toll on me. I was miserable, I was unhappy and I was struggling to see the point of fighting on.

But as I stayed down, tired and defeated.. you reached out a hand to help me back up on my feet. You believed in me when I doubted myself and you gave me reasons to smile again. Thank you, my friend.. for being my strength when I had none left in me.

Someday down the road, i'll inevitably fall down hard again. We all will one day because shit happens in life all the time. But the one thing i've learnt from this episode, is that admitting our vulnerability and accepting the love from those who care is not a sign of weakness.. the important thing is where we go from there.

We can mope and we can receive all the sympathy from others but continuously feeling sorry for ourselves won't change things for the better. At some point, we have to move on, learning from past failures and mistakes and then coming up with a new or improved resolution.

Like that little toddler, i've picked myself up with your support and i'm ready to trudge on with a smile and renewed determination. I will face my fears and hopefully learn to treat every hardship not as problems but as challenges that I will overcome eventually.

Fallen Again

2009-12-20T22:17:00.006+08:00

They say each time you rise from a fall, you grow stronger.

But i've been knocked down hard so many times and i'm getting too weak to stand again..

The Songs You'll Never Hear

2009-12-19T09:52:00.003+08:00

I penned a song on the bus back home today. A song written straight from the heart, a summary of everything that I feel deep down. The melody reflecting my emotions, the words of the song describing my journey and intimate thoughts of all the things i'll never say.

Hmm i'm not an aspiring musician, but the inspiration to write a song somehow always hits most naturally when situations occur and emotions overwhelms. Its like an outlet of personal expression to convey what might sometimes be too hard or painful to talk about.

This is a song i'm not ready or probably won't ever want to sing though. To me, this particular composition is like a diary entry.. a song that holds special meaning but one i'll never share with anyone else. On a random note, i'm not going to record song covers or perform publicly anymore.

The only day I'll ever sing again will be when I fall in love with the girl i'm ready and want to share a new beginning together with. When i'm sure she's the one and my heart is set, I'll write her a love song and sing it to her..

Chat with Champions

2009-12-17T20:42:00.007+08:00

Youth Olympic Games Friendship Camp 2009

These are the youth athletes from around the world

who will be competing at the YOG next year

But the biggest stars of the night were the athletes from Jamaica

Every one star struck by these global sports stars

I myself was in complete awe the whole time I was interviewing them

Asafa, one of the world's fastest man

Veronica, world's fastest woman

Dexter, world's fastest youth

Veronica Campbell-Brown

The 200m Gold medalist at the Beijing Olympics

The world champions inspiring and sharing their experiences

The next generation of champions seeking valuable advices

Asafa Powell

Current World Champion and once the 100m record holder

The trio were incredibly nice despite their international superstar status

Every one had a really unforgettable session with them

A very rare moment where Asafa actually sang and danced!

Even the world probably never ever saw this side of him before

A picture to remember this unbelievable moment

And then it was complete frenzy to get a piece of history

Meeting the sportsman I've always been truly inspired by..

Yet another incredible dream turned reality

Photos taken by Nor Asyraf

Someday I'll represent Singapore

2009-12-16T18:45:00.009+08:00

I've actually been following the SEA Games in Laos with keen interest. I love sports, its very much a part of my life. Every time an athlete or team representing Singapore takes to the playing field, i'll literally be screaming my lungs out in support for them..

But as I watched our countrymen competing, I began missing the days where I was once a sportsman. The burning passion for the sport, those long hours of training, always pushing beyond limitations, setting personal bests, breaking records, the unity and determination of a team, the adrenaline of competing, the overwhelming emotions at the finish line or final whistle.. I miss everything about it.

Truth is, during the days while I was still competing, I always had this ultimate goal and motivation to one day be good enough to represent Singapore. I never did achieve this sporting ambition. My operation sort of dashed my dream, forcing me into early retirement and i've only been able to be an enthusiast from the stands ever since.

Last week, I had the opportunity of a lifetime to interview an international sporting icon that I really look up to with incredible respect. He was the man who truly inspired me during my track days. He held the record and title for being the fastest man then and still remains one of the world's fastest today.

After the interview, I had a little personal chat with Asafa Powell and what he shared with me plus watching Team Singapore in action at the SEA Games now, has reignited a spark to that familiar burning flame of passion in me.

Beginning 2010, i'm going to return to the sporting scene again. Not as a spectator, not just as host or commentator.. but as an athlete. I'm planning to start anew this time though, but still working towards that same goal.. to one day represent Singapore as a sportsman and do us proud.

Our Dramatic Adventure

2009-12-14T19:51:00.003+08:00

Exploring the infamous Old Changi Hospital

With Alicia and Amanda

Probably two of the bravest friends I know

One of the Vasantham Amazing Race team that we met

But when it came to the actual exploration of the place..

..it was just the 3 of us and our cameras

The graffitis on the walls were terrifying

The glass from the windows laid shattered everywhere

Some parts of the building even looked burnt down

But we were curious

Perhaps too curious for our own good

The writings and warnings were already on the wall

But we paid no attention

We were just intrigued by everything we saw

Until we met the head of Barbie

That was when things started to get a little..

..spooky?

I unexplainably ended up crashing my bicycle and smashing my camera

But hey it was still an awesome day and adventure with the two :)

Supernatural Encounter at Old Changi Hospital?

2009-12-13T10:54:00.004+08:00

So today I finally hung out with two of my friends (Alicia and Amanda) who i've not seen in a really long time. The initial plan was to go cycling around Changi, but we suddenly had this crazy idea over breakfast to explore the Old Changi Hospital..

The three of us, all alone in probably the most notoriously haunted site in Singapore. Quite frankly, it was an insane idea. But we were curious and feeling adventurous, so we rented the bikes and cycled our way to the abandoned hospital..

I swear, just the sight of the hospital alone gave us the creeps even in the day. Satanic graffitis all over the broken walls, shattered and charred windows, peeling paint, pitch dark rooms covered in cobwebs, joss sticks at certain ominous spots.. it was like the perfect scene of a horror movie except that this wasn't a film set.

We were initially hesitant and seriously contemplated whether or not to go inside.. after all, it was just the three of us, away from civilization with only our cameras, Amanda's little torchlight and our dangerous curiosity of the unknown.

But the mud covered flight of stairs strewn with broken pieces of glass beckoned and with one final consensus among us, we climbed. When we reached the second floor, I literally stood in silence staring down the long corridor trying to imagine what it must've been like years ago with actual doctors, nurses and patients walking about the very same floor we were standing on..

The hospital definitely has a history, each room keeping secrets that only the four walls will ever know. Somehow, I could feel it though, this sense of nostalgia about the place.. and all of a sudden it became a little bit too chilly.

Thankfully, things instantly became less tense and spooky when we heard the voices of other people within the vicinity. They were the contestants and crew of the Vasantham network filming the final episode of their version of the Amazing Race. Alicia, Amanda and I even helped one of the teams with their task and the producers are very likely to air us in that episode.

Anyway, the three of us continued with our own adventure and exploration deeper into Old Changi Hospital and thats when things started to get really creepy. As we walked further inside, we came across my name "Matthew" spray painted on the wall and my first reaction was like "hey thats so cool!", but as we continued, Alicia noticed "Matthew" almost all over the walls in practically every other room and we joked that maybe its like a supernatural sign or warning.. at that very moment, Amanda screamed.

There staring right at us, was the head of a barbie doll dripping with fake blood pierced into the broken glass of the window pane. Its obviously a prank by some sick idiot but the timing of the occurrence was damn scary.

After we were more composed from that scare, I thought barbie's bloody head would make a great picture and so I snapped a shot of it. Maybe I really shouldn't have done that. Maybe the numerous "Matthew" all over the walls weren't simply an innocent coincidence. Maybe they were indeed a sign and that bodiless barbie was like a final warning.. but how was I to know?

We were not quite done exploring anyway. We wanted to find the basement, supposedly the most haunted place of the hospital but we only managed to find the elevator and that alone already scared the shit out of us. So we decided to check out the higher floors but a very distinct sound of something constantly hitting against metal up in one of the rooms made it seem like a very bad idea. In the end, we took a couple more shots on my camera and left the hospital on our bicycles.

Then this happened..

Alicia, Amanda and I were just a few meters out of the entrance gate of Old Changi Hospital with me slightly ahead of them when for no apparent reason, I suddenly lost complete control of my bicycle and crashed sideways onto the pavement of the road dragging my whole body along..

The two girls who were behind me saw how it all happened and were horrified because they thought I had hit face first on to the ground and continued sliding across the surface of the road. Alicia said "your bicycle just suddenly turned sideways as if you slipped on something slippery and our hearts dropped when we thought half of your face was left behind on the road"..

The road was not at all slippery, i'd know. But I have no explanation as to how it happened except that I was in control of my bicycle one second and in the next, I was lying on the floor in the middle of the road bloodied and bruised.

And my SLR camera that was slung across my shoulder was smashed in the crash and is not functioning anymore. What I really wonder is.. was it merely an unfortunate accident or could there have been some sort of supernatural involvement? Hmm..

Singapore Idol Final Spectaculars

2009-12-09T15:57:00.009+08:00

Singapore Idol 3 will always hold very special memories

Extremely proud and happy for these two awesome friends

Hosting the final show at Mediacorp TV theatre

The young and confident Tabitha Nauser

The passionate musician Sezairi Sezali

The beautiful crooner Sylvia Ratonel

And the 3 most recognizable faces and voices of Singapore Idol

But the ones i'll never forget from my first studio hosting experience..

..are the amazing and ever so supportive fans

Anxious moments as Gurmit announces the final two

Tabby ended her Idol journey that night

Sylvia & Airi

Will compete in the finals on 27th December to be our next Singapore Idol

Gurmit Singh & Matthew Zachary

The host and studio host of Singapore Idol

Photos taken by Nor Asyraf

Letting Go, Starting Anew

2009-12-06T09:22:00.000+08:00

Insightful conversations, long bus ride, deep reflections, one resolution.. change. Most will be personal but of major significance. Others might be blatantly obvious, perhaps even shocking.

I don't need additional drama or gossip in my life. Its time I give up and let go of certain things for good. No more turning back. No more holding on to the superficial hopes, friendships or even dreams of the past anymore.

I've realized that sometimes we just have to let go of the most critical part of our lives in order to start living again. For me, that sometimes is now. I'm letting go of every negativity and ready to start anew.

I know these decisions that i'm making now may turn out to be a catastrophic turning point of my life and honestly, i'm terrified. But I also believe there's so much more meaning, purpose and happiness in the future ahead that I want to discover and hope to live.

Kim's 21st

2009-12-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

When Kimberly Yap finally turns 21!

Pool side celebration at the stunningly beautiful Carribean

A place where I realized i'm hopeless at Wii

3 amazing years of friendship and counting..

Happy 21st Birthday Kimo! :)

Cab Boy to Bike Man

2009-12-04T09:58:00.000+08:00

I'm planning to get a bike. After countless of taxi rides all over the country these past few weeks, I figured that getting my own transport will save me a heck lot of time and money.

I've even done the math.. if I abstain from hopping on to a bloody cab for at least 2 months, i'll be able to afford a pretty decent bike. And if I actually have my own ride, i'll be saving so much more instead of always spending on cab fares.

But the hard part will be trying to assure my parents that i'm not crazy. My dad will probably say "take my car, but don't ever think about getting your ass on a bike", my mom will simply give me her "do that and you die" look.

I'm quite adamant about this idea of getting my own bike though. Because more than just a bike, it'll also be a personal representation of finally taking control of my own journey. I'm turning 21 soon, its time to make and be responsible for my own decisions and directions in life..

e-smile! :)

2009-12-03T07:54:00.000+08:00

I got this particular email in my inbox today and it really made me smile! I always get excited and feel really happy for someone whenever they tell me that they're going to start pursuing their own dreams.

Hmm i'd just like to say this to everyone else.. if my life story motivates or inspires you, I hope that you too will find courage to live your life and chase your dreams because you're awesome and I believe that someday, you too will be an inspiration to so many other people around you.

A Cozy Affair with Jasmine Tye

2009-12-02T12:36:00.001+08:00

Marine Parade Theatrette

Jasmine Tye's debut concert

An intimate hour with special collaborations

Sizzling hot dance performances

The good old songs of Christmas

And a night of sincerity and love from Jasmine

Her childhood dream finally realized

and its only the beginning of more to come

All the best Jas! :)

Photos taken by Vicson Huang

A Date with Miss Z

2009-11-28T17:33:00.010+08:00

This is sad to admit but up until now, I've never actually had time for you. You are often neglected because someone or something else always took priority. So many times we've been deprived of each other but never once have you forsaken me. You are there when I need or want you but i've always taken you for granted..

I'm glad Miss M brought us back together again. The past 20 hours with you have been absolutely blissful. I don't think i've ever been more happier spending such quality time with you. Just you and me. You've made me feel like a rejuvenated man ready to take charge of my life again. And I finally realize how truly important you are in my life.

Thank you Miss M(edication).. you've given me a chance and reason to slow down, to catch up and spend more time with Miss Z. I'm feeling a lot better now but i'm not quite done yet. Tonight's going to be another good night in bed with Miss Z (for the benefit of you innocently naive ones, Miss Z is actually a representation of "sleep")..

FINA Swimming World Cup

2009-11-26T11:23:00.004+08:00

My second international World Cup experience!

Jessica Hardy

Female World Champion

Time Out

2009-11-24T20:20:00.018+08:00

On the way back home from school today, I met a friend who asked "how's life?". It may seem to be two fairly simple words but it left me stumped not knowing how to reply at all. I merely offered a weak smile in return as I quietly wondered "what life?".

I began thinking about how i've been living my life these days and the sad truth hit me that I was living a dream that was inevitably turning into a nightmare. This has been my life for the past seven days and pretty much on an everyday basis..

Last Tuesday marked the start of RED Camp. I was actually already really sick and on medication then, but forced myself to press on for and through the three days and nights. Even between the days of RED Camp, I had to make a trip down to Mediacorp for Singapore Idol before rushing back to school for more rehearsals.

RED Camp officially ended on Thursday night, but there wasn't a single moment to take a break and rest. Life continued on from the wee hours of Friday morning. Work to catch up on, back to back meetings around the country.. at this point of time, I was probably surviving on less than 10 hours of sleep.

Then came the weekend. A training session in the morning, a photoshoot in the afternoon, FINA Swimming World Cup event in the evening and more work through the night. That was Saturday. On Sunday, I gave my first presentation at a seminar where I was invited as a guest speaker followed by Day 2 of the Swimming World Cup.

Yesterday was the start of week six of school. But as soon as class ended, I had to rush down town to Amara Hotel to host Commonwealth Secondary's Prom Night. I was and am in my worst physical condition right now but it was a promise I made to them a long time ago and the show simply had to go on.

But as I struggled to get by today, I realized that i'm killing myself. Physically, i'm already gone. I am shivering badly despite wearing thick layers of clothing. Every time I cough, I fear permanently damaging my lungs or throat. Whenever I sneeze, it'll be more than five sneezes combined which leaves me gasping for air and my body is now so weak, I feel like a lifeless being ready to collapse at any moment. The worst part is, i've completely lost my appetite.

Hmm as stubborn as I may be, I guess this time I really have to listen to you, my friends, and take a break from everything to fully recover. I'm sick of being sick. I'm calling a 48 hours time out this weekend, meaning i'll be canceling all the appointments and events I have scheduled to get some rest.

During the 48 hours time out, I'll also be taking time to seriously reflect on my ambitions, priorities and what's most important in my life right now. I'll admit that i've been so caught up with too many things that i'm simply not focusing on what I should be giving my absolute concentration on.

For now though, I just hope i'll have the strength to get by each day and that i'll get better again soon. Its such a horrible feeling being physically defeated but what really sucks is not having an appetite to eat at all. I'm so getting a Paddlepop ice cream when i'm well again.

My Little Box of Dreams

2009-11-22T06:47:00.001+08:00

I'm putting away some of my dreams into my little box of dreams..

..for now at least.

What Camp?

2009-11-21T09:19:00.000+08:00

As the final few RED Campers left the convention center for the last time on thursday night, I stood inside the empty hall in front of the 5 tribe flags.. all the laughter, screams and cheers of the three days echoing in my heart, every single memory and people of RED Camp came flooding back..

It was so hard to accept the reality that it was finally the end of it. It was especially emotional for me standing at the very place where it all happened taking it all in for the last time. As all the beautiful memories started replaying, I really couldn't hold back the tears that began trickling..

RED Camp isn't simply "just another school event" to me. It is so much more than words will ever be able to describe. That moment and this entry marks the closing chapter of an absolutely amazing part of my life that I will always cherish..

The Logistics Team: I'm mentioning you first because you guys are the unsung heros who always work so tirelessly and selflessly behind the scenes creating all the props, making sure everything is always in place and runs smoothly. You are almost never in the spotlight but seriously, nothing would've been possible without all your much appreciated hard work and dedication. You are the team that really deserves the loudest applause for being so awesome. Thank you so much guys!

The Lights & Sound Team: Every single thing that happened on stage was master class because of you. Its a cold lonely room up there above the convention hall away from every one else but still, you guys gave your absolute commitment and sacrificed a lot of time remembering all the cues and learning how to operate the million switches and buttons. Big big thank you "voices from above"!

Marcomm & Hospitality Team: Even before RED Camp, you were already working the hardest with all the pre-publicity and hype in the build up for the big day. And when it was finally D-Day, there you were welcoming the campers with a huge warm smile, seeing to their every request and never ever losing the smile no matter how tired you were feeling. Keep on smiling because you did a brilliant job! :)

Photography & Video: Every single day during RED Camp, you were going around all over campus capturing beautiful (and unglam) moments and recording all the memories. Every single night you guys stayed up till almost 3am sorting out pictures and editing the video. Thank you for putting in so much effort in creating something special that every single person who was a part of RED Camp will now always be able to replay and remember.

Skit & Emcees: For all the hours you spent at rehearsals to put up a great show that really entertained everyone immensely, you truly deserve a standing ovation. Even though this was the very first time on stage in front of such a huge audience for most of you, you still showed confidence and gave it your best. Brilliant performance. But being in the spotlight now puts you in the limelight even after the lights go out and I just hope you talented bunch will always continue doing it for the burning passion and be a good role model for many others who'll be looking up to you. Its been a joy working with a few of you.

The Mass Dance & Records Team: I'm so sorry I completely forgot about you guys! Mass Dance, its what united every one in a very moving scene that was literally "all for one". And history was made with our names going in the Singapore record books for setting two records at RED Camp 6. Thank you so much for putting in so much effort into making this possible even though you guys faced quite a lot of obstacles and challenges. The sight of thousands screaming at setting the record and dancing together was testimony that all your efforts were worth every damn bit of it so thank you for creating this special and historical moment!

Chiefs: This goes out especially to the veteran Staff Mentors.. thank you so much for making RED Camp happen and even better every single year. Thank you for always guiding every one of us along with your wisdom, leadership and advices. Special mention also to the corporate communication staff, thank you for believing in me and always trusting me to host this biggest event of ours. Its been my greatest honor in my NP life to have been a part of RED Camp.

Student Leaders: The most awesome bunch of people i've ever gotten to know. You guys are so amazing, not just in leading the tribes around and screaming your lungs out but really for doing all the little things to make it all so very special for them. You never ever fail to always put others before yourself (I heard some of you got completely drenched during the flood incident). You bunch are the greatest and i'm just extremely glad to have gotten to know some of you better as a person and friend through SL Camp and RED Camp. To the grand-SLs, a very much deserved pat on our backs.. its certainly been a good run and I say a reunion at RED Camp 10! :)

RED Campers: Finally, the campers. Regardless of tribes, regardless of which year of RED Camp you were from.. you are the reason why RED Camp even exists and you are the ones who make every RED Camp what it still and will always be.. awesome. Even though RED Camp 6 has officially ended, don't cry because its over, smile because it happened. Its really only the beginning of so many more things and new friendships ahead of you. RED Camp is always going to be particularly special to me because believe it or not, it actually marked the beginning of a few special friendships with people (who were once RED Campers as well) that are very dear to me now. So wherever life takes you from here, just promise to continue being awesome and that you'll always save a little space in your heart for the memories and experiences of RED Camp..

..and thus concludes this chapter of my life story.

If anyone ever asks you..

What Camp?

What will you say (about your experience)..

My Last RED Camp

2009-11-20T12:11:00.007+08:00

A beautiful end to an amazing chapter in my life..

Campers, Student Leaders, Chiefs

Thank you for the awesome memories

♥

RED Camp will always have a very special place in my heart

I'm Just A Little Unwell

2009-11-16T06:19:00.002+08:00

Saying that i'm sick would be quite an understatement. My throat hurts, my voice is gone, my stuffed nose has lost its purpose in life, my eyes are bloodshot teary, i'm coughing and sneezing like an old man about to die at the next "ah choo".. its the worst possible time to be ill.

RED Camp starts tomorrow. So many amazing people have worked tremendously hard, made huge sacrifices and literally gone through blood, sweat and tears just to make the next 3 days the best possible experience for the 2000 new faces that will be turning up tomorrow morning.

I really don't know if i'll be able to talk or even survive the stage and day but come what may, regardless of my condition, i'm determined not to let any single one of them down. I'm going to find every bit of strength left in me and bring on my absolute 100% from the heart.

Of Life & Dreams

2009-11-15T17:56:00.021+08:00

Starting the coming week all the way till the end of December, I will be hosting on the biggest stage at a school, national and international level. I'm nervously excited. Never in my craziest dreams would I ever have imagined myself realistically being where i'm at now..

RED Camp. I guess this major school event will always have a special place in my heart because it was one of the initial events that moulded my ambitions to continuously push myself as an emcee. It was actually also the very first time I hosted infront of more than a thousand complete strangers. This year will mark my final involvement with RED Camp and personally, I think its going to be quite emotional.

FINA Swimming World Cup. This will be my second World Cup event for the year following the Hockey one. Was actually engaged to host another "never will it happen again" global event but when it came down to a choice I had to make between the two, this was the (rather difficult) decision I eventually made. I'll admit that I feel damn nervous and quite a heavy pressure though, because i'll not just be representing myself as a host but for Singapore as a country as well. Still, I'm extremely honored and grateful to have been approached to host such a prestigious international event and i'll definitely strive to up my game and raise the bar even higher.

Singapore Idol. When it comes down to the final two on the 27th December, it will be a bittersweet closure to my own little Idol journey and memorable year of hosting. Singapore Idol really was an unbelievable dream that came true unexpectedly. I feel that i've matured so much as a person and emcee through Idol and when I host one final time at the Indoor Stadium next month, it'll mark a personal milestone and another special chapter in my life story.

Hmm.. as I reminisce on how it all began, I feel a certain sense of achievement in my life that i'm proud of. Not in the "i think i'm great" way, but really at how I started out with nothing but a dream, determination and belief and worked really hard towards my goals.

I do believe that dreams are simply reality waiting to happen. I believe its a matter of finding the courage to pursue the ambition in your life that you've always only talked about or given up on because others say its hopelessly impossible..

Thats probably the biggest mistake you can ever make.. living your entire life for others just because you're afraid of what they think. Ultimately its your life to live, your dreams to pursue. No matter what others may bitch or gossip about you, you're still the author of your own life story so don't ever let anyone else write it for you.

I'm now living my dreams, writing the every day memories of my life.. I may not always know how each new day and page will unfold but I want to make each chapter meaningful. Then 50 years down the road, I'll take this book out and retell all the stories of my life and dreams to my grandchildren..

Sports Presenters for YOG 2010

2009-11-14T09:53:00.004+08:00

The Sports Presenters for the Youth Olympic Games

Official introduction to the public and media

At Orchard Cineleisure

Guest of Honor for the event

CEO Goh Kee Nguan & Minister Teo Ser Luck

We will be the voices at the competition venues

The faces of all the 26 Sports

And the live wire at the Games

I'm really not used to being the one interviewed instead..

Pretty embarrassing man!

Matt, Kim, Steph

The presenters for Athletics

"Youth Olympic Games 2010!"

..are you ready for it?

Time to party at the end of the official introduction!

Mark Richmond

Our main man and awesome mentor

The world's first Youth Olympic Games

14 to 26 August 2010

We'll see you there! :)

Photos taken by Vicson Huang

My Wonderful Week..

2009-11-13T10:27:00.010+08:00

..oh the sarcasm. Sometimes, I think my life is a bit too dramatic for all the wrong reasons. Its been a week filled with a series of unfortunate incidents and i'm just glad that its almost over.

Miserable monday (as always), terrible tuesday, worst wednesday, tiring thursday and thank God its finally friday! In the space of five days, i've slept less than 15 hours, killed a cockroach, lost my phone, failed a freaking english test, suffered from food poisoning, rushed to school for cancelled classes, caught a cold, got slapped with consecutive days of MC to rest and recover, barely survived long periods of classes, rehearsals, photoshoot, meetings.. and I just have to also rant that I hate the bloody wet weather these days.

I'm anticipating an equally horrific weekend though. Over the next 48 hours, I have to produce a radio programme and capsule, work on a magazine article, design a website, attend an event and more meetings, rehearse for a concert, finalize all the visual and audio details for another major event next week and.. I am in dire need of retail therapy and ice cream.

Terrible Tuesday?

2009-11-10T09:49:00.005+08:00

Okay the only reason why i'm blogging on a tuesday morning is because my first lecture of the day was apparently cancelled. I'm mildly annoyed as I now sit outside my lecture hall writing this. I only have myself to blame though, I was completely unaware of the announcement online..

But ah well, i'm almost back to being perfectly alright again. I mean if I even have the motivation to whine, things must look promising. Maybe it was the little sinful indulgence of yesterday (which sort of ended up really shitty, literally, but i'll save you the disgust of that one)..

I had like a 4 freaking long hours break and was actually feeling pretty down yesterday, so I thought "hey, i'm going to chomp down some mutated Kentucky Fried Chicken and waste my lousy monday afternoon away man". That was KFC. I was still hungry after a Zinger meal and Snackers set though, so I went over to a Korean food stall a few meters away..

Stuffed but bored, I then wandered aimlessly into a Popular book store and ended up on a stationary spree! You know despite all the gadgets and technology of today, I still love pen and paper.

Anyway, as I was about to head back to school.. I got distracted by this huge "Student Meal Offer" at Pizza Hut. I only stood there for like 5 seconds but the manager came out and I was like, "Yeah okay.. why not (stationary shopping made me hungry again)".

Long story short, the food was terrible but I got exceptional service! Its weird but I somehow always get special treatment and really good service from the managers whenever I dine alone (similar to my Fish & Co experience for those of you who remember).

After Pizza Hut, I set off on my walk back to school but at the first traffic junction, it started pouring and I had to seek shelter at King Albert Park. Bliss. I love Macdonald's. I might die from excessive consumption of their food one day but I still love my nuggets.

So. I found a corner table to get some work done. Half an hour into it, my laptop died. And it was still pouring outside. 20 pieces of nuggets topped with a McFlurry. Happiness. And finally, the rain trickled to a drizzle.

It was probably the best short walk back to school! I was happily filled, walking and singing in the cool after-rain climate with my red hoodie pulled over my head and I just couldn't help but smile at how beautifully sweet everything felt.. especially the perfect weather!

Anyway, reality came crashing back when I realized that I didn't actually have a meeting scheduled for yesterday. But it was a good "stuff myself to cheer up" day I guess. And monday concluded with me spending quality time with my best friend that night.. the toilet bowl.

Hmm when i'm down, two things always make things a little better. Eating and shopping. I still need retail therapy soon. But for now, I hope miserable monday doesn't spill over to a potentially terrible tuesday.. stupid cancelled lecture.

These are my Confessions

2009-11-07T07:33:00.009+08:00

Rarely do I confide my problems with anyone. Not that i'm afraid of being perceived weak or that I don't trust, i've just never liked the idea of burdening others with my problems. But as I finally come out of isolation ready to live again, i'm hit hard emotionally by the concern and support from you guys..

As I read all your comments and messages on this blog, facebook and phone, i'm really touched and feel rejuvenated with hope, belief and reasons to smile again. I just want to say that I greatly appreciate you never trying to probe into my problems but simply letting me know that you're here for me and always encouraging me on.

There's a part of me now that feels terribly guilty and undeserving of your love though. I guess I owe you an explanation on the sudden break down in my life and disconnection from the world. These are my confessions..

To be honest, I initially didn't even know the reason why I broke down. All seemed fine, I mean I was even doing Idol that night. But when I was finally alone, I just started weeping and thats when I completely lost it.

Everything in my life may seem to be turning out perfect, all these dreams becoming a reality.. but perhaps it is all happening too fast too soon. There's only so much I can handle and it was too late before I realized that i've pushed myself way beyond my own limitations.

Over the next two days and nights, I was consumed by a million thoughts, my body completely drained and all the emotions i've been suppressing was literally choking me. There were and are just way too many things going on in my life and it eventually hit a point where I simply couldn't take it anymore.

What was particularly tearing me up inside was the fact that there were so many expectations, obligations, deadlines and things in and out of school which I had to meet and can't just say "hey, I need a break" and walk away from. I can be tired and miserable all I want but the harsh reality is that the world will never stop for me and I felt that I too couldn't afford to slow down..

It was the perfect recipe for self destruction and I had unknowingly fed myself my own brewed poison. I was devastated, constantly wondering if this dream of mine was turning into a nightmare instead. I was doing the things I love but there was no more love in the things I was doing. The once burning passion was already flickering to the point of burning out.

I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. It took everything out of me. In the period of time that I shut myself from the world, I was nothing more than a lifeless being struggling to get by the day. I even contemplated giving up..

But in my darkest hour, you reached out to me. Even though I was not contactable because I refused to be, you still sent your messages of concern and love and that gave me hope when I desperately needed a reason to believe again.

I just want you to know that I won't ever forget how you extended your hand out to me at this point in my life where I had fallen so hard and was too weak to stand again on my own. I can say this a million times but words of expression will never be able to translate and express my gratitude..

Thank you for all your messages, your voice mail, your virtual hugs, your smiles, your offers of ice cream and lunch to cheer me up. Thank you for the song, for the verse, for the football quote. Thank you for giving me space, strength and assuring me that things will get better. Thank you for believing in me when I lost reason to believe in myself. Thank you for loving me and for being everything and more that a friend could ever be.

As cliche as this may sound now, I guess we all need some tragedy to bring us crashing from time to time, we all need to suffer setbacks. Running away from the problem won't ever resolve anything though..

Thing is, shit is always going to happen in our lives but we have to embrace the challenges, not run away from them. Its never going to be easy, its always going to hurt, it will wear you out.. but in those times of struggle, you'll somehow find a stronger sense of who you are, realize new things and be reminded of the amazing people in your life.

On a personal note, i'm gradually getting better and I think i'm starting to understand and appreciate the reason why i'm even living. I have changed and I hope its for the better this time. I don't want to live my life simply chasing my dreams anymore, I want to be truly happy living life a lot more meaningfully, not just for myself but for others as well..

You stood by me through this period of emotional crossroads and just as you've been here for me, I want to be there for you too. Sharing not just the good times but to hold you through the worst, letting you know that you're never alone in this unpredictably bumpy road..

With love (and a massive hug when I see you),

Matt

The Way I Feel

2009-11-05T00:47:00.009+08:00

Its just past 4am. My eyes are teary and my heart is bleeding. I don't know what's happening to me. I feel so lost and hopeless. Its so difficult to fill my heart with joy anymore. I only seem able to manage a tired smile at best. I'm really struggling to hold on..

I've always thought I'll be strong enough to withstand tribulations and to overcome all adversities. But today, I realized i'm not that strong after all. Today was the point in my life I felt most vulnerable. Today, I broke down.

I don't know how much longer I can press on. I don't know if I even have any emotion left in me to feel anything anymore. Right now i'm just trying to live and get by each day but it seems so purposeless and meaningless..

Dear friends who've messaged or dropped me comments, I just want to say I really do appreciate your concern, love and all your efforts in trying to lift my spirits up and put the glow back in my heart.. but please forgive me if you don't hear from me for a while.

I personally feel that i'm going through probably the most emotionally and mentally trying period yet. Perhaps as life seems to overwhelm and consume me, I need some time alone from everything to find strength, hope and to believe again.

I'm literally hanging by a thread at the moment, a thread thats fast wearing thin but i'm still holding on, barely, struggling but I won't let go.. I hope I don't.

To You, My Friend

2009-11-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

A song I re-wrote as a message specially to you, my friends..

First Commercial Voice Over

2009-10-30T21:39:00.011+08:00

I did my very first commercial voice over in a studio at Ubi today and it was such an awesome experience! It felt really cool just being in the recording room hearing myself do the lines with a professional studio microphone (the kind that singers record their songs with) and a sound engineer directing me behind the glass window..

Okay but I have to also admit that it did feel a bit strange listening to myself on playback.. even though I've probably heard my own voice a million times, somehow it still felt as if I was hearing myself for the first time! I was like "oh gosh, so thats exactly how I sound like to others.."

It was such a new (well not literally, but it totally felt like it) and exciting opportunity and I reckon I actually learnt so much more about my own voice and techniques over the few hours in the recording room and I'd just like to share my personal experience with those of you who have the same dream and want to do this someday..

I guess the most important aspect about being a voice talent or when doing any recording, is the voice itself. You've got to be perfectly comfortable with your own voice and even though this might sound extremely narcissistic, you have to love your own voice. Think about it, if you hate the sound of your own voice.. would anyone ever want or bother to listen to you?

I used to not like my own voice. The very first time I picked up a microphone, I literally went "shit this is my voice?!". Thankfully after puberty, it changed. But even now there are still instances where I sound irritatingly nasal or high pitched. And thats the other important thing..

You've got to be wary of the way you sound or how you want to sound. For many of us, we simply talk the way we do, but the ones who have perfected the art and are so good at it are the ones who are totally aware and have complete control over how they sound or how they want to sound.

I like to call it putting character into your voice. Your personality, the desired emotions and that special spark.. letting those 3 aspects shine just through your voice alone. Its not a talent all of us are naturally born with but with effort, I believe its definitely something that any one can improve on.

Some day I want people to know me not as "the one with the cliche deejay voice" but as Matt, the recognizable voice that is relatable, genuine and one that connects with them in a special way.. the way a close friend would over the phone.

Hmm.. another area I personally need to work and improve on in the meantime, is my diction. I often won't bother articulating myself unless I really have to (its only when i'm on stage or something that i'll make that extra bit of effort to be more conscious of the way I speak).

But I realize i'm still not good or experienced enough to switch between conversing normally (without needing to emphasize on my words) and having to be professional and pronunciation perfect which is pretty damn critical in what I do.

So i'm not going to be lazy even under normal circumstances anymore. I will enunciate all my words whenever I speak. Not in an attempt to be an ang mo wannabe with some fake accent though, I just want to speak well. I think its important that we all try to..

Anyway, a really surreal surprise happened while I was doing my recording.. it was almost like icing on the cake! The two people I grew up listening to on the radio, came in to the studio to do their commercial voice overs as well..

Jamie Yeo and Justin Ang.. these are two amazing radio personalities i've always looked up to and aspire to be as good as someday. Even though I do actually know them, it was the realization that I was meeting them IN the studio that really made me go "oh my goodness! This really isn't just a dream anymore!".. my voice is going national!

HTC Tattoo Launch

2009-10-29T01:05:00.019+08:00

The media launch of the latest HTC phone @ Butterfactory

Melvin Chua, country manager of HTC Singapore

Unveiling HTC's first global advertising "You" campaign

and its new Quietly Brilliant brand positioning

Introducing the HTC Tattoo

An epitome of You, inside and out

The HTC Tattoo allows you to decide

exactly how you want your phone to look and function

Members of the media invited to the event to get a first hand glimpse of

HTC's latest product and global marketing plan

Now what better way to get in the mood of the HTC Tattoo launch..

..by getting a tattoo!

And to have fun expressing yourself freely

Because as HTC believes the saying..

"..the best things in life can only be experienced, not explained"

You don't need to get a phone

You need a phone that gets you

- HTC Corporation-

Matt.sg media team leaving our own little tattoo! :)

Photos taken by Janine Ong

The Days I Love & Hate

2009-10-27T09:21:00.001+08:00

So its the second week of a new school semester and i'm clearly not as enthusiastic anymore. What a difference a week makes, or rather, the cruel reality of deadlines. Just 10 days of school and my cohort's already slapped with our first major submission due next week!

Its no secret that I absolutely dislike mondays but I think that feeling's starting to spill over to tuesdays too. Tuesdays are the longest day on my academic timetable. 8 hours of lectures from morning to evening with only an hour's break in between! I swear its going to be a constant weekly struggle to stay awake by mid afternoon. Heck, it already is.

Friday oh friday please happen already! Thats like my ultimate favorite day because it signifies the end of a long week of school or work and the start of a well deserved do what I want weekend! Then again, maybe its just the awesome fact that I don't have classes on fridays..

Feedback on Vlog Productions

2009-10-26T10:50:00.009+08:00

The latest video i've uploaded is actually the most time consuming project i've ever worked on. It took me almost 10 freaking hours to produce it.. from selecting, converting and rendering the clips, editing the footage, processing the whole thing before finally uploading it.

Unfortunately, there were still a lot of technical and audio glitches at the final output but I was already too tired to re-edit any further. Not one of my best but I hope you still enjoyed it.. it was sort of my test pilot episode.

I am looking at possibly producing future materials, hopefully creating something refreshing that you guys will appreciate and enjoy. But here's where I need your help..

I want to improve each and every time I work on something new.. so I'd greatly appreciate it if you can take a few minutes to leave your honest thoughts and suggestions in the comments section of this post, specifically on what you liked and the areas you think I can improve on (content or presentation wise) or maybe even something that you'd like to see in future productions of similar nature..

Thank you! :)

Vlog on Charity Car Wash

2009-10-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

Footage shot by Li Suriani

Special interviews with the cast of Polo Boys, the FHM Girls, the Singapore Idols and more in this montage of all the action that happened at the Channel 5 Charity Car Wash.

The celebrities managed to raise $11,591 in total for Mediacorp's adopted charities HCA Hospice, Rainbow Centre and Operation Smile.

Tired Happiness

2009-10-23T23:19:00.017+08:00

Its really funny how life plays out. One week ago, I was hit with a personal setback. One week later, so many things have happened. Life hasn't stopped one bit. Within this one week, crazy opportunities have presented itself out of nowhere!

I've been contacted by different people wanting me to do some really cool things like.. engaging me to emcee for a countdown party at the end of the year, being a special guest speaker at a seminar, possibly attending launch events, be the host for a local celebrity's concert in december, and maybe even fly off on a sponsored trip to attend a youth conference next month.

One thing that i'm personally very honored about is how some organizations are seeing me as a potential journalist representing my own media [www.matt.sg] and are inviting me to press sessions and events. Some are even offering me an opportunity to write for them, covering all the latest entertainment and sporting news, if i'm interested.

But as all these amazing things are happening in my life, I feel.. empty.

Its a contradiction of emotions because I am happy yet there seems to be a void in my heart. I hate to admit it but I think I might be burning out mentally and emotionally. Perhaps all these matters of the heart and mind are draining the life and zeal out of me. Right now I feel so hopeless. I don't know why or what I should do about it..

Maybe everything is happening a little too fast. Maybe I still need a little more alone time to sort myself out. I'm not sinking into depression or anything like that, I guess as certain dreams start to become a reality before i'm even ready for it, it inevitably rattles the world and course of my life..

Am I losing myself? I don't think so. I hope that i'm on the road to rediscovering myself instead. For now though, maybe I just need some ice cream with a sprinkle of rainbow rice..

"My Playground"

2009-10-22T19:59:00.020+08:00

On the very first Singapore Idol Top 13 spectaculars show at Mediacorp's huge tv theatre, one of the producers said to me with an encouraging smile, "Matt, this place is going to be your playground all the way to the final 2. Have fun!"..

I'll be damn honest and say that having fun has never truly been on my mind every single wednesday. I'd always be stressing out and feeling extremely nervous before and each time I had to take the stage through the night..

What was I going to say before the live show, during the 4 freaking-long-minutes breaks and at the results show? How am I possibly going to keep the audience happy and enthusiastic every single week without being repetitive? What if I say too much or too little? What if I mess up (which I still do somehow. Oops!)..

But 5 shows into the season and i'm finally starting to have fun and loving this big playground. I still have so much more to learn and improve on but i'm slowly getting more comfortable and my confidence is building.

You'll never ever see me on tv though. I'll just explain this again to those who still don't quite get how i'm involved with Idol. My role is essentially this.. every time Singapore Idol goes off air, that would be my cue to come in to do my hosting bit live in the studio.

What's particularly awesome is that I have the freedom and confidence from the producers to do and say absolutely anything I want. Usually i'd go around talking to the supporters and sometimes even interact with the judges and Gurmit directly..

Call me brave or insane but I honestly don't think about it when i'm doing things there and then and i'd go home at the end of the show, instantly crashing from exhaustion.

But when it hits me the next morning, i'd be all excited recalling that "woah, I actually had a conversation with Dick, Florence, Ken and even shared a joke with Mr PCK himself in the studio with everyone else!".

Very unbelievably surreal.

Oh, I especially love the hours before the show goes live on tv because i'd be backstage chilling and chatting with the awesome dudes and babes. They'd always make me smile, sharing with me their funny life stories. Singapore Idols or not, cool friends and people they definitely are.

Hmm.. its been quite an interesting Idol journey for me so far. I'm just really glad that I have this opportunity to learn and push myself to be a better host every single week. Also always going to remember the good people I've gotten to know, with whom I treasure and hope to continue forging these new friendships with.

As I sit writing this reflection of my experiences from the past weeks and all the vivid memories of it, there's a huge smile on my face and in my heart. I am living my dream.. and I'm very happy and grateful.

I'm Loving It

2009-10-20T21:13:00.027+08:00

I don't think i've ever been this enthusiastic and optimistic over the start of a new semester of school. I'm seriously very excited, extremely happy to be seeing a few people again and loving every single moment of how its been so far..

There have already been a few firsts this new school term. For one, it was the first time I finally went to the gym after like years of procrastinating. Embarrassing thing is, I didn't even attempt the kind of weights every other "crazily self obsessed with their body" guy in the gym seemed to be lifting but my muscles (or lack thereof) are now bloody aching. Fine fine, I admit that i'm getting old.

Anyway today a friend asked me, what do I do (activity) as an outlet from my hectic life that keeps me happy.. and I said sports, no prizes for guessing which one especially. But yea, sports does take my mind off matters and always makes me truly happy doing it.

I've actually planned out a personal"sports timetable" to fit into my schedule and I just hope that i'll stick to it and not retire from these gym, running, swimming, bowling, football and dance sessions after just one week haha.

Hmm.. right now, i've got a public confession to make.

Yesterday was the first time I fell passionately in love again.. with radio. After doing my first radio show on the first day of school (special thanks to those who left your dedications on my blog or facebook!), I have to say i'm ecstatic. I'm now fronting my own radio show every monday and co-hosting another every thursday on NP's campus radio station (Radio Heatwave).

I guess to summarize my thoughts.. i've never been even more sure of what I want to be doing for the next 10 years of my life. Within the next 10 years, I definitely will be doing what i've always loved and dreamt about.. I will be a producer-presenter on national radio.

But radio's not going to be the only thing i'm focusing on over the next six months. I'll also be working hard towards building my portfolio and experience as a host for television, a field journalist and a producer.

I suppose the best part is that i'll be doing all these while schooling at the same time because some of the modules i'm taking this semester are precisely that..

And that, is one of the other thing i'm loving as well.. school. I'm not and will never be a nerd but I have to be honest that i'm really excited and looking forward to most of the modules and projects. Its going to be a great semester!

Six awesome months of school, external media endeavors, doing the things I love, pursuing my dreams, exploring new possibilities, spending time with the people I love as much as I can.. I'm living my life with no regrets and i'm loving it.

Back to School (vlog)

2009-10-18T00:11:00.003+08:00

Its been the best holidays with awesome people and memories!

Love it or hate it school officially starts again tomorrow.

Hope you have a great new semester! :D

The Night of Shattered Heart and Dreams

2009-10-17T09:51:00.026+08:00

I didn't sleep at all last night. I just couldn't. I laid in bed with a million thoughts in my head, reflecting on a lot of things. All through the darkness of the early morning, my heart was deeply pierced, my aspirations shattered and all my dreams seemed hopelessly impossible. It was emotionally painful.

I guess what made it hurt so much was the disappointment in myself more than anything else. I'm someone who sets certain expectations for myself and will work really hard to meet them, always ensuring I give my absolute best in most of the things I do..

But when my best is just never going to be good enough, its very demoralizing. Its especially devastating when I put so much effort and hope on something only to have it dashed instantly. That was what happened yesterday and I just couldn't help but be overwhelmed with a very heavy heart.

It was personally a crushing blow, probably the biggest yet. I had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many doubts.. it even came to a point where I reasoned that maybe i'm just not and will never be cut out for this and should forget about it entirely.

But after thinking about it all through the night, it hit me really hard that I shouldn't let one major adversity overwhelm me negatively for too long.. the fact is, the higher the hopes the bigger the blow is always going to be when things don't work out.

Its all these failures and experiences that makes me grow though. Setbacks and struggles are inevitable and unpredictable. Disappointments may make me cry, people may laugh or write me off but no matter how badly its ever going to affect me, I hope i'll still always be able to find the strength to overcome the odds and bounce back eventually.

Right now, i'm slowly picking up the pieces of my shattered heart and dreams.. I will continue pushing on to overcome the challenges. I'm going to trudge on with stronger determination and belief. I can do this.

How will your Love Story be written?

2009-10-16T13:25:00.003+08:00

Have you ever read a love story with the sweetest ending
or watched the most romantic movie which portrayed
the perfect kind of guy/girl you'd want to fall in love with,
who'd always love you back just as much?

Have you ever imagined yourself in such a beautiful fantasy, secretly wishing that someday it might happen to you..
Secretly hoping that one day you'll meet that special someone you will (and not just "want to") spend the rest of your life with?

I have and still do.

Do you?

Boys & The Game We Play

2009-10-15T23:05:00.018+08:00

FIFA 10

A dream game come true for every football fanatic!

This is officially my favorite virtual game at the moment

Awesome graphics on the huge plasma screen

Boys will be boys

So excited that we can't keep our mouths shut and eyes off the screen

And we may look as if we're all calm and composed

But we go absolutely bonkers whenever we score or miss agonizingly

One thing's for sure though..

It really brought out the kid in us

And forged the brotherhood among us

Definitely an awesome day and game! :)

FIFA 10!

2009-10-15T08:39:00.003+08:00

Today for like 5 hours straight, 5 boys (Amar, Jon, Lynn, Syad, Matt) in a dark room, eyes glued on the tv screen, mouths agape, hands kept busy throughout and at the climatic moments, erupted in a euphoric scream of male excitement..

..we were not watching porn. We were playing probably the best virtual football game ever created to date! The new and improved FIFA 10 is the sex. Heck, the gameplay and graphics alone is already so damn incredible, its like watching an actual live match!

So instead of just screaming at all the superstar footballers during a real game on tv, every boy's wish of always wanting to control our favorite team is now just a controller away! And I swear the game is damn addictive.

I could go on gushing about the game but I think you guys really ought to just get your hands on FIFA 10 before it flies off the shelves. If you love your football, you will never regret this buy at all.

And girls, if you want your boyfriend to love you ten times over, this would be the perfect surprise gift to get him.. but! I have to warn you that you're taking a huge relationship risk because he'll completely neglect you over the next month(s) haha!

The beautiful (virtual) game has once again been taken to a whole new exciting level. Ooh boy, I reckon watching live football matches on tv will never ever be the same again. Play the game and you'll totally know what I mean..

I've Got A Feeling...

2009-10-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

...that tonight's gonna be a scandalously good night!

Radio Heatwave Chalet @ Chevrons

A night to chill out in that ohsofreezingcold room

And to catch up with each other before school starts again

Candice Miller & Matthew Zachary

We just might be co-hosts for some show together one day

And so the drinking games and session starts..

..makes people do some of the most hilariously bizarre things

Especially those thatsodidnothappen moments

Hahah!

Some were already gone while the night was still young

But sleep was clearly not on the agenda

Because we're all crazy and cool like that

Radio Heatwave Deejays

The team of awesome radio personalities ready to bring it on air!

The night I had my first...

2009-10-13T00:55:00.007+08:00

I just came from an overnight chalet with the Heatwave deejays at Chevrons. Now when you put a bunch of crazy, kinky but awesome individuals all in one room, things are bound to happen. It was a night of sexy fun and scandalous moments till the early hours of morning..

It was also the very first time in my life that I drank.

Some of you might probably think its unbelievable, maybe even loser-ish that I finally had my first drink(s) at 20 but its just personal preference. I've abstained all these while only because i've never really liked (and still don't) drinking as it is.

It wasn't a case of caving in to peer pressure. Real friends won't force you to do something you don't want to. I drank because I wanted to. I figured that someday I will have to drink at social functions and events anyway so being in the company of friends I trust, I wanted to enjoy the moment with them.

The amazing thing was, I probably downed more than 10 shots of Vodka and various alcoholic concoctions but was still perfectly sober throughout the night (must be the korean drinking genes haha!). I really don't like the bloody burning sensation as I downed the Vodka in a gulp though. I sound pretty hoarse now (almost voiceless) which is not good with Singapore Idol on tomorrow.

But it was a good night. So much fun sitting in a circle in that ultra cold room, laughing till we teared and our stomachs hurt over a lot of hilarious incidents and things said. And it wasn't just the high moments, had some individual heart to heart talk time with a few of them and also the opportunity to better know the rest i've never really spoken much to.

As a matter of fact, one cool thing that happened at the chalet was the chance meeting with someone for the very first time (well not technically, but sort of officially) because the thing is, we've been hearing so much of each other but never actually knew who the other really was.

Candice Miller is one of the stars from Mediacorp's Okto channel and when we finally got acquainted for the first time, she was like "omg Matt, its an honor to meet you!". There I was completely dumbfounded trying to hide my own evident excitement meeting someone i've only ever heard so much about.

But its really awesome how we both knew of each other's existence even before we met and the mutual respect and admiration we already had for one another. I'm still in awe and positively shocked actually. The funny irony is, we actually first met and even spoke face to face on a pervious occasion during some Mediacorp show but were obviously oblivious.

Anyway, definitely great times and memories at chalet with the team thats going to take campus radio to a whole new level. On a personal ending note, this will always be remembered as the night I had my first drink (I just want my freaking voice back fast! Anyone knows an instant remedy?)..

The Beautiful Game of Football

2009-10-12T20:51:00.015+08:00

A day of football with the guys

Only the most passionate (for the beautiful game) turned up at the court

My new pair of street soccer shoes!

But still the same old (literally) player

Football is a funny game with simple rules

You can only play with one ball without using your hands

Jervis clearly didn't quite understand that very well haha!

There are occasions where the ball gets completely mixed up

Or the very painful ball-meets-balls moment

So you see, football is actually a rather dangerous sport

You've got to have balls of steel

Sometimes players like to bring on their artistic flair into the game

And thats when it gets a lot more entertaining to watch

Its a bit like dancing..

..its a bit like magic

Just look at the levitation off the ground! Criss Angel are you seeing this?

Then there are also the players who love to flaunt something else

Often they're the ones who'd be closely watched

Because they may be good but rules are meant to be followed

And the bad news for them is, they'd always be punished for it

Haha look closer at player 17!

But football still and will always be THE beautiful game

Because its the universal language that unites all guys!

Matt-kham & Lynn-odinho

The deadball specialists

The aftermath of 3 hours of football

SL Team 2009

Syad, Jon, Matt, Amar, Shaun

Farhan, Jervis, Lynn, Gary

Back to School

2009-10-11T23:52:00.039+08:00

A new semester of school will start again in exactly one week and i'm secretly looking forward to it. I mean, the holidays have been undoubtedly awesome but I miss being in campus on a school day and the whole "hey, i'm a student!" life.

I've actually already set new goals for the second half of the academic year. For one, i'm going to be a lot more studious and focus on getting even better grades instead of only loving the process of acquiring new knowledge and skills.

No, I am not a nerd. Studying is not my thing at all. I'm the kind who sees the value of learning through experience rather than getting good grades for the sake of it simply by memorizing a whole lot of text.

Thats the unforgiving reality (and flaw) of the world though, we need to score those damn grades which may better secure our places in the school or a certain job of our choice (but will not necessarily guarantee success).

Someone asked me this.. what if I ever end up in a dilemma having to choose between a massive once in a lifetime opportunity and furthering my education?

Well I honestly don't have a definite answer at this point in time. I'll probably only start to contemplate the issue seriously when it actually happens..

For now, while I am able to make my own decisions for the months ahead, i've decided that school will take priority because I am still a full time student after all.

But thats not to say i'll completely stop all other activities. Even though i'll be cutting back on all these external involvement once the semester gets into full swing, I'll definitely try to build my portfolio at the same time and continue working towards my dreams.

Oh! Speaking of dreams, one of the things i'm really looking forward to about the coming semester is the Radio module i'll be taking. Over the next 6 months, I'll be studying that module but more than just learning for the grades, I will be practicing hard to improve my radio producer-presenter skills.

So I really can't wait for school to begin because I've got a feeling that its going to be a great term ahead and i'm all set for it. But as vacation enters its final week, i'll make the most of the last seven days and hopefully remember this holiday period to be the best i've ever had..

The Children of Philippines

2009-10-11T23:44:00.009+08:00

This is probably going to always be one of the most meaningful personal project and video i've ever done. Its long overdue, but today I finally decided to put the clips together and I actually teared in the process of editing this.

A special footage from the trip to the Philippines that really changed my perspective on a lot of things for the better. I hope this video will touch and inspire you as well..

Of School Memories & Army Days

2009-10-10T10:01:00.011+08:00

The boys, no.. men (except one haha!) finally get together again

Night of awesome BBQ food..

..reminiscing school days and talking about life in the army

The girls being really sweet to do all the cooking

Speaking of sweet..

Cheryl and Clement were feeding each other so lovingly

Awww..

Danielle

We started out our poly life together as freshmen 3 years ago

yet now she's taking her degree while i'm still, well studying too. Haha!

Shawn, Matt, Hueichin, Cheryl

Friends I cherish for life

Boys will always be boys..

..fascinated by all the cool toys (Shawn's super powerful laser) and such

Bobsch

We miss you Sammie..

..you would've loved the meatballs Junwei brought!

Here's to our friendship!

And our possible year end trip to Hong Kong :)

Retail Therapy

2009-10-09T00:07:00.010+08:00

Retail therapy actually works for me. I'm not much of a shopper but when I do shop (usually on days when I feel really down and the temptation and urge to splurge is at its peak), it'll be like massive spending by the hundreds in just a few hours.

Like today. I bought a couple of things and feel pretty happy with my purchases although some were admittedly impulsive buys. But I particularly love the new shoes (street soccer ones) I got for a game of football with the guys next monday and a sports bag which I simply couldn't walk out of the shop without. I tried but it was just too matt-perfect.

Anyway while buying the soccer shoes today, it made me remember the time I got my very first pair of soccer boots.. I was 9 years old and selected to be part of my primary school's soccer team.

The "getting my first pair of boots" was like a family affair down to the huge sports shop at Great World City with me being the very excited child while my parents acted as the price moderators (they were paying for it after all).

I vividly recall making my choices based on my favorite players and the brand of boots they wore. It eventually came down to Michael Owen and David Beckham.. Umbro vs Adidas. For those who know about my preference for all things Adidas, you might be surprised to know that Umbro won on that very first occasion.

Nostalgic memories. I loved my first pair of soccer boots! I wore it till all the studs were flattened, I kept it even after the soles started to rip apart. I guess its just human nature for us to always want to cling on to something special or close to our hearts.

I actually have like a secret box full of items which really meant something to me at that point of time and I just couldn't and probably still can't bear to throw them away.

These days, I buy and discard things as and when they start losing its appeal (which is usually pretty fast because I have a very short attention span). I suppose having the ability to purchase on my own has significantly decreased the intangible value and appreciation of the things I buy.

I used to depend on my parents or needed to seek their approval on stuff I wanted to get (which probably made it more sentimental?). But now, with money in the bank and not needing parental consent, I can purchase something new or better (also known as useless and unnecessary) whenever I want to.

But having said all that, I still reckon retail therapy works for me. At least it makes me happy again at the end of a long shopping day (takes my mind off my problems and channels it towards the bloody receipts instead). Its really either that or going on a good food marathon!

Truth is..

2009-10-08T21:58:00.021+08:00

I am not Mr Rainbows & Sunshine. Not at all. I may look happy and appear optimistic most of the time (because I genuinely am) but I also do have my shit days and moments and I do get upset and emotional about it.

Truth is, I know people are always talking about me.. the good, the bad and all the ugly lies that they spin. I'm fine with it because I know i'm not perfect but I always try my best, not in trying to change people's perception of me, but in everything I do and that keeps me going.

Everyone of us will always make judgements about others, its not something that will ever change. I don't hate the people who bitches about me out of jealous or whatever reasons they may have because ultimately its simply a reflection of the person they are.

But even though i'm aware of people constantly talking behind my back, I still do get shocked and upset whenever I find out who the specific person is that instigated the spreading of malicious rumors. Upset because that certain person is someone I regard as a friend even if we may not be particularly close.

To you, I know who you are and all the things you've said or been saying. I feel backstabbed and hurt but I don't hate you for it. Despite betraying my trust, I still forgive you. If you choose to go on about it, i'll leave it to you to decide if you still think our friendship is worth something and I promise i'll make time for you if you want to to talk things out personally.

Of all the gossip i've heard about me, i'll confirm this to be true.. I am not a nice guy. There's a very clear line of my tolerance level with regards to bitching. I may be alright with direct attacks at or about me, but if you EVER insult my family or closest friends.. thats crossing it. And believe me when I say I'll get extremely pissed off and not take it lightly.

I know a lot of you reading this may not know me personally but may already have a certain opinion about me just based on the way I write and what I update in this blog. I respect that. But I just want you to know that i'm also always extending my hand out to you to get to know me for who I am as a person.. its up to you if you want to accept the handshake.

Hmm despite all the negativity and hate I have to endure on an everyday basis, what keeps me sane, grounded, happy and going, is the loved ones around me. I can never ever be grateful enough to have the support from my own family and awesome friends.. we're always together through all our joyful and most trying moments.

I will continue working hard and pursuing my dreams but even before I achieve them, I'd like to express from the bottom of my heart, the gratitude and appreciation I have towards every one of you who believes in me and are always supporting and encouraging me along the way.

Truth is, you already are the reality of a beautiful dream..

Thank you guys! :)

My Friend, The Next Top Model

2009-10-07T08:28:00.008+08:00

Collette Claire Miles

Its hard not to notice Collette whenever she walks into a room. She'd obviously make heads turn with her good looks and sense of fashion but there's also a spark about her that just seems to light up the atmosphere whenever she's around.

Collette's a friend of mine from school and behind that giggly girly nature, she's actually very driven, always challenging herself to something new. Growing up watching America's Next Top Model and reading all the latest fashion magazines, it inspired her to dream of one day becoming a top model herself.

Despite the huge obstacle of aspiring to be in an industry where height is as important as looks, Collette doesn't want to let that (her height) affect her modeling ambitions too much but to focus on her strengths in other aspects instead and to keep on doing her best working towards her dream.

In fact, she's already taking that huge step forward by signing up and making it to the finals of The New Paper's New Face 09. Out of the hundreds who auditioned for this modeling competition, she made it to the top 20 and will be competing for the title and crown.

This is a stepping stone for Collette, her first shot at her dreams and i'm sure with her beauty, brains and bubbly personality, its really only the beginning to her road of becoming possibly Singapore's next top model! :)

A Wedding Promise

2009-10-06T23:44:00.009+08:00

Today, at 10.40pm..

My best friend made me promise

that i'll be the host of her wedding in future

I said yes..

..promising that the evening will be even more memorable (and oh so scandalous haha!) than her first night with her wedded husband, who is also my best friend (i'm very confident that they'll get married eventually!). I'll remember today as the beginning of a beautiful wedding story..

My best friends' wedding! :)

My Friends, Their Dreams

2009-10-05T10:53:00.009+08:00

I always feel really blessed to have some of the most amazing friends. Besides being the awesome individuals that they are, they are also incredibly talented. And i'm not just saying it..

Some of my friends are going to be (or already are) a top model, designer, editor, businessman, chef, dancer, singer, host, photographer, athlete, politician even.. the list simply goes on! They all have their goals and dreams and are constantly working hard towards them and that I think, is what makes them so remarkably outstanding.

There are a few of them in particular who i'm especially proud of because I was there when they first started out and its just heartwarming to see them grow and the direction they are heading towards now. I believe in every one of them, I believe they have the ambition, talent and right attitude to succeed and most times all they simply need is a platform and opportunity to show that.

I really understand that struggle because I've been through the exact same situation where I felt I was ready for something bigger but everything just seemed so stagnant and unreachable. So as much as I possibly can, i'll always try to help them..

Recently, I conducted my first hosting workshop for a group of aspiring emcees. I know i'm a nobody and still have much to learn myself, but there are already so many things i've picked up, mistakes i've committed and its all these experiences and stories that I felt I had and wanted to share with this group who were about to start out.

I'm also currently mentoring a bunch of first-time hosts for a huge event in November and even before they take that big stage (where there'll be thousands in the audience), i'm already so damn proud of them. From not daring to talk to a group of 20, they can now stand confidently in front of a crowd of more than a hundred and blabber away without being too nervous or script dependent.

Hmm.. there are occasions where I even feel that a few of them really deserve to shine on a much bigger platform but probably never had the chance to.. as best as I can, i'd try to find them such opportunities when I think and they feel they're ready for the challenge. Like just a few months ago, I hooked 3 of my friends up (because I thought they had immense hosting potential) to host one of the biggest national events and they did an absolutely terrific job!

During this year's Asian Youth Games, I also managed to get a photographer friend who wanted to build up his photography experience and portfolio, an all-access media pass for the Games. Another of my aspiring photographer friend who's been helping to take pictures at my events was recently noticed for her photography skills and was offered her first paid job!

And speaking of photography, i'm happy to say that a few of my friends with dreams of becoming a model will now be (or in fact some already are) on giant posters and magazine spreads..

Why do I help them? Because I really do believe in them and feel that perhaps all they need is a little push in the right direction. There's also this indescribable joy in helping friends and watching them succeed with huge smiles on their faces when it hits them that they really are doing something they thought they could only dream about.

But as much as i'm glad to help or guide others, I hate it when people try to use me or my connections as a shortcut to their ambitions. I am not your agent or fairy godfather. I'll always try my best to offer my advice to you through my own experiences if you'd like to know but please don't expect me to fulfill your dreams for you.

In time to come you'll probably realize that to succeed, it takes a lot of hard work and determination. There's no secret or shortcut to it, focus and work towards making your own success and you will eventually. Don't simply depend on others all the time.

Anyway, i'm going to be starting a new blog post every random day of the month. This particular series of entries will be somewhat special because i'll be writing about my friends (who've already achieved some sort of success in their respective ways or fields) and their dreams.

These will be ordinary people living extraordinary lives, with an inspiring story to tell. These are my friends and these are their dreams..

SL Camp 2009

2009-10-04T21:53:00.005+08:00

Student Leaders Camp 2009

These will be the people and faces of RED Camp 6

Mass ice breaker games

SLs getting to know and bond with each other

Because we're all in this together

Centurions tribe SLs

The behind-the-scenes preparation for RED Camp

Painting of tribe banners

And making of tribe identities

Some were really a work of art!

Like this one! :)

Others were the willing canvas!

Hahah

Spartans tribe SLs

Course counseling and personalized tour training

A fun session to learn more about the school and courses

This is what happens when you put crazy people all in one camp

Absolute chaos..

..and madness

It was a night of fun

Of trust

Of team spirit

And of course, a lot of dancing..

..and cheering!

Ninjas tribe SLs

It was a good good night!

Viking tribe SLs

One of the special item thats going to happen in November..

..the RED Camp mass dance!

Finally after 3 fantastic days, camp came to an end..

Apaches tribe SLs

..but this was only the beginning

New friendships were forged

New memories created

All of us brought together because of RED Camp

Ninjas

The best SL tribe

And with one final cheer..

..it marked the countdown to RED Camp 6

All for One

The awesome student leaders of RED Camp

Thoughts on Student Leaders Camp

2009-10-03T11:09:00.001+08:00

Preparations for RED Camp 6, a 3 days camp for O Level graduates organized by Ngee Ann Poly, are underway and I can't help but smile just thinking about it. I've been around since the second RED Camp (as a camper then) all through the sixth edition this year and its an event that will always have a special place in my heart.

So this week we had a Student Leaders (SLs) camp to get to know fellow SLs as well as to prepare all the necessary stuff required for the big event in November. Personally, I thought this was a rather meaningful camp in a special way and that this year's batch of SLs are one of the most awesome we've ever had (..we are so cool and so awesome! haha).

In every camp, there'll be the inevitable cheers, fun and games which was the case in this SL camp, but I felt that it was special because it was also so much more than just simply running around screaming our lungs out. I'm not going to elaborate but i'm sure every one of us present at camp must've felt the same and will know what i'm talking about..

RED Camp 6.. to some of us, its going to be our first while to a few others, its going to be the last. I belong to the latter, this will be my final RED Camp after years of being part of it.

But i'm confident to say that RED Camp 6 is not just going to be a success simply built upon fun and laughter (and good food of course haha!) but its going to be the best yet in a very special way that will be remembered for a really really long time by us, the SLs, and RED Campers alike.

We're going to create the the most memorable 3 days ever. And I promise you (graduating SLs especially), there will definitely be tears at the finale.. tears of joy, sadness, accomplishment, friendships, memories and so much more. This is really only the beginning..

What camp?

You know it :)

Blog on Idol

2009-10-02T12:43:00.021+08:00

I've decided to stop producing Vlog on Idol.. because I don't have as much time as I used to these days (school's starting in 2 weeks) and I guess it was just something thats wasn't appreciated at all.

Through the production of the few episodes, I've actually learnt quite a bit more about filming, editing and things like that but I concede that I failed in terms of producing something that would be of interest to the masses.

And as it is in show biz, the plug is always pulled on something thats just not working. Still, i'm happy and its definitely a personal satisfaction to have embarked on this project, gaining new experiences in the process. I won't be stopping here though, I've discovered this love and interest and will continue pursuing it and possibly producing new concepts in future.

Anyway my actual involvement with Singapore Idol is hosting at the studio. Every wednesday before Gurmit takes the stage on national tv, i'll be the one hyping up and interacting with the studio audience each time Singapore Idol goes for a commercial break or off air.

Its actually quite fun but if i'm being completely honest, its also extremely stressful. Its like, i'm literally thrown out there with only the producers' faith and confidence in my ability.. whatever I say or do is entirely up to me.

And thats the thing, there's always that constant pressure and fear that i'll mess up somehow when I really shouldn't (mess up). I'd get all jittery backstage one hour before the show starts and will be singing BEP's "I've got a feeling" on loop to psyche myself that it IS going to be a good night.

In the first 2 shows, I didn't know when to say what and there were too many awkward moments of dead air (which means absolute silence). That always scares me.. when I run out of things to say or to keep the audience entertained.

But i'm slowly beginning to build up my confidence as the weeks go by and starting to really enjoy this whole Singapore Idol experience. I can never be grateful enough to have been given this hosting opportunity and its also really nice to be able to get to know a few amazing people on a personal level through this journey..

The producers and crew.. they are always encouraging and giving me feedback every week, telling me if I did well or how I should improve. They've never once said anything negative to my face but are always telling me "you can do it" and i'm just so humbled and grateful (but also feel double the pressure to deliver haha).

The judges and host.. I was actually really scared of them (especially Ken) and was a bit star struck when I first met them but despite the judges seemingly harsh comments and such, they're very nice people. Gurmit seems to be getting a lot of flak over his hosting ability but the armchair critics should really watch him live in action. He is amazing and you can't deny his success and accomplishments after so many years in this industry. Gurmit is someone I look up to with awe and i'm really honored that I can learn from him.

The contestants.. I'll always have a little chat with them before and after the show and all I have to say is that they are just like you and me.. they're very real. The only difference is their incredible determination to pursue their dreams in front of the entire nation. These guys and girls are simply awesome and they will always have my utmost respect and support.

The supporters.. almost every week, there'll be a certain core group of supporters coming back to cheer on the contestants and i'm starting to know a few of them on a personal level which is really cool. They make my hosting stint on stage so much more enjoyable!

I've got a confession to make. I admit I was actually damn excited when I was first offered this unexpected once-in-a-lifetime hosting opportunity because I thought this was "taking a step closer to my dreams/ the big break" but thats different now because ironically, my hosting ambitions are the last thing on my mind.

For me, the greatest joy is simply doing what I love, constantly learning, pushing and challenging myself on a bigger platform. Its no longer about where I hope to be ultimately, but really just appreciating being in the moment of now, giving my 100% every single time and making the best of every bit of this memorable experience.

This, is my own Singapore Idol journey and story..

I'm Yours (special cover version)

2009-10-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Afiq and I would like to dedicate this special version of the first song we covered to you guys. Thank you for supporting us through your comments and encouragements from the very first video we did. We'll continue covering more songs and hopefully some originals soon! Hope you'll enjoy this "surprise" video we did of Jason Mraz's awesome song!

Do leave a comment if you'd like to, we really appreciate it!

And once again from the bottom of our hearts, thank you :)

First Voice Over Recording

2009-09-30T19:46:00.006+08:00

You know i've always wondered what it'd be like to be "the voice" behind a certain promo or documentary that people would be listening to on tv.. I had the chance to find out today when I did some voice over recording at a studio for the Youth Olympic Games.

Honestly, I was extremely excited just being in a proper studio surrounded by all the recording equipments with a sound engineer handling the audio aspects (finally a pro doing the edit while all I had to do was talk) as the producer directed and guided me through the whole thing. Even though it was my first time, I felt very comfortable doing the recording and was super happy because this really was what i've always loved and wanted to do..

By the way, I think my voice sounds very weird recorded. All along I've presumed (or probably deceived myself) that i've got like a pretty low deep manly voice but when they played back my voice recording, I was shocked! Like "who the heck's that Mickey Mouse?!".. my voice sounded higher pitched than how I thought I sounded through the headphones as I spoke!

Gosh.. is this how i've always sounded to every one of you who've ever heard me speak? Because i've realized what we THINK our voices sound like to us might be totally different to another person. For example, a certain aspiring singer might think she sound like Beyonce but to others, her voice may be "Beyond Safe (to listen to)".

Ooh random.. I reckon we all sound sexiest when we utter our first few words straight after waking up! But anyway, though it was a tad bit embarrassing hearing my own voice on playback, I truly enjoyed the whole experience.. my very first professional voice recording.

The Day The World Blurred

2009-09-29T08:39:00.011+08:00

In one unexpected moment, the world became a blur. My bloody spectacles broke. I know i'm a klutz at times but I swear I didn't break my own glasses on this occasion, the metallic frames literally just fell apart on its own! Soon after, the lenses cracked as well, and that was erm.. my fault.

With the frame already broken, I stuffed my glasses into my pocket with the intention of trying to salvage it somehow.. then it happened. I squatted down, forgetting I had something fragile in my pocket, till it was too late. There was a very distinct cracking sound and instantly I was like "OH SHIT!".. true enough, the glass lenses were broken into pieces!

I am quite annoyed right now. Not just because of the world becoming a blur (till I get new spectacles.. i'm quite tempted to buy the thick black frames army styled ones! Haha!) but also because my already puny eyes are practically non existent now.

,,,

(-.-)

Just like that.