..oh the sarcasm. Sometimes, I think my life is a bit too dramatic for all the wrong reasons. Its been a week filled with a series of unfortunate incidents and i'm just glad that its almost over.
Miserable monday (as always), terrible tuesday, worst wednesday, tiring thursday and thank God its finally friday! In the space of five days, i've slept less than 15 hours, killed a cockroach, lost my phone, failed a freaking english test, suffered from food poisoning, rushed to school for cancelled classes, caught a cold, got slapped with consecutive days of MC to rest and recover, barely survived long periods of classes, rehearsals, photoshoot, meetings.. and I just have to also rant that I hate the bloody wet weather these days.
I'm anticipating an equally horrific weekend though. Over the next 48 hours, I have to produce a radio programme and capsule, work on a magazine article, design a website, attend an event and more meetings, rehearse for a concert, finalize all the visual and audio details for another major event next week and.. I am in dire need of retail therapy and ice cream.
Okay the only reason why i'm blogging on a tuesday morning is because my first lecture of the day was apparently cancelled. I'm mildly annoyed as I now sit outside my lecture hall writing this. I only have myself to blame though, I was completely unaware of the announcement online..
But ah well, i'm almost back to being perfectly alright again. I mean if I even have the motivation to whine, things must look promising. Maybe it was the little sinful indulgence of yesterday (which sort of ended up really shitty,literally, but i'll save you the disgust of that one)..
I had like a 4 freaking long hours break and was actually feeling pretty down yesterday, so I thought "hey, i'm going to chomp down some mutated Kentucky Fried Chicken and waste my lousy monday afternoon away man". That was KFC. I was still hungry after a Zinger meal and Snackers set though, so I went over to a Korean food stall a few meters away..
Stuffed but bored, I then wandered aimlessly into a Popular book store and ended up on a stationary spree! You know despite all the gadgets and technology of today, I still love pen and paper.
Anyway, as I was about to head back to school.. I got distracted by this huge "Student Meal Offer" at Pizza Hut. I only stood there for like 5 seconds but the manager came out and I was like, "Yeah okay.. why not (stationary shopping made me hungry again)".
Long story short, the food was terrible but I got exceptional service! Its weird but I somehow always get special treatment and really good service from the managers whenever I dine alone (similar to my Fish & Co experience for those of you who remember).
After Pizza Hut, I set off on my walk back to school but at the first traffic junction, it started pouring and I had to seek shelter at King Albert Park. Bliss. I love Macdonald's. I might die from excessive consumption of their food one day but I still love my nuggets.
So. I found a corner table to get some work done. Half an hour into it, my laptop died. And it was still pouring outside. 20 pieces of nuggets topped with a McFlurry. Happiness. And finally, the rain trickled to a drizzle.
It was probably the best short walk back to school! I was happily filled, walking and singing in the cool after-rain climate with my red hoodie pulled over my head and I just couldn't help but smile at how beautifully sweet everything felt.. especially the perfect weather!
Anyway, reality came crashing back when I realized that I didn't actually have a meeting scheduled for yesterday. But it was a good "stuff myself to cheer up" day I guess. And monday concluded with me spending quality time with my best friend that night.. the toilet bowl.
Hmm when i'm down, two things always make things a little better. Eating and shopping. I still need retail therapy soon. But for now, I hope miserable monday doesn't spill over to a potentially terrible tuesday.. stupid cancelled lecture.
Rarely do I confide my problems with anyone. Not that i'm afraid of being perceived weak or that I don't trust, i've just never liked the idea of burdening others with my problems. But as I finally come out of isolation ready to live again, i'm hit hard emotionally by the concern and support from you guys..
As I read all your comments and messages on this blog, facebook and phone, i'm really touched and feel rejuvenated with hope, belief and reasons to smile again. I just want to say that I greatly appreciate you never trying to probe into my problems but simply letting me know that you're here for me and always encouraging me on.
There's a part of me now that feels terribly guilty and undeserving of your love though. I guess I owe you an explanation on the sudden break down in my life and disconnection from the world. These are my confessions..
To be honest, I initially didn't even know the reason why I broke down. All seemed fine, I mean I was even doing Idol that night. But when I was finally alone, I just started weeping and thats when I completely lost it.
Everything in my life may seem to be turning out perfect, all these dreams becoming a reality.. but perhaps it is all happening too fast too soon. There's only so much I can handle and it was too late before I realized that i've pushed myself way beyond my own limitations.
Over the next two days and nights, I was consumed by a million thoughts, my body completely drained and all the emotions i've been suppressing was literally choking me. There were and are just way too many things going on in my life and it eventually hit a point where I simply couldn't take it anymore.
What was particularly tearing me up inside was the fact that there were so many expectations, obligations, deadlines and things in and out of school which I had to meet and can't just say "hey, I need a break" and walk away from. I can be tired and miserable all I want but the harsh reality is that the world will never stop for me and I felt that I too couldn't afford to slow down..
It was the perfect recipe for self destruction and I had unknowingly fed myself my own brewed poison. I was devastated, constantly wondering if this dream of mine was turning into a nightmare instead. I was doing the things I love but there was no more love in the things I was doing. The once burning passion was already flickering to the point of burning out.
I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. It took everything out of me. In the period of time that I shut myself from the world, I was nothing more than a lifeless being struggling to get by the day. I even contemplated giving up..
But in my darkest hour, you reached out to me. Even though I was not contactable because I refused to be, you still sent your messages of concern and love and that gave me hope when I desperately needed a reason to believe again.
I just want you to know that I won't ever forget how you extended your hand out to me at this point in my life where I had fallen so hard and was too weak to stand again on my own. I can say this a million times but words of expression will never be able to translate and express my gratitude..
Thank you for all your messages, your voice mail, your virtual hugs, your smiles, your offers of ice cream and lunch to cheer me up. Thank you for the song, for the verse, for the football quote. Thank you for giving me space, strength and assuring me that things will get better. Thank you for believing in me when I lost reason to believe in myself. Thank you for loving me and for being everything and more that a friend could ever be.
As cliche as this may sound now, I guess we all need some tragedy to bring us crashing from time to time, we all need to suffer setbacks. Running away from the problem won't ever resolve anything though..
Thing is, shit is always going to happen in our lives but we have to embrace the challenges, not run away from them. Its never going to be easy, its always going to hurt, it will wear you out.. but in those times of struggle, you'll somehow find a stronger sense of who you are, realize new things and be reminded of the amazing people in your life.
On a personal note, i'm gradually getting better and I think i'm starting to understand and appreciate the reason why i'm even living. I have changed and I hope its for the better this time. I don't want to live my life simply chasing my dreams anymore, I want to be truly happy living life a lot more meaningfully, not just for myself but for others as well..
You stood by me through this period of emotional crossroads and just as you've been here for me, I want to be there for you too. Sharing not just the good times but to hold you through the worst, letting you know that you're never alone in this unpredictably bumpy road..
Its just past 4am. My eyes are teary and my heart is bleeding. I don't know what's happening to me. I feel so lost and hopeless. Its so difficult to fill my heart with joy anymore. I only seem able to manage a tired smile at best. I'm really struggling to hold on..
I've always thought I'll be strong enough to withstand tribulations and to overcome all adversities. But today, I realized i'm not that strong after all. Today was the point in my life I felt most vulnerable. Today, I broke down.
I don't know how much longer I can press on. I don't know if I even have any emotion left in me to feel anything anymore. Right now i'm just trying to live and get by each day but it seems so purposeless and meaningless..
Dear friends who've messaged or dropped me comments, I just want to say I really do appreciate your concern, love and all your efforts in trying to lift my spirits up and put the glow back in my heart.. but please forgive me if you don't hear from me for a while.
I personally feel that i'm going through probably the most emotionally and mentally trying period yet. Perhaps as life seems to overwhelm and consume me, I need some time alone from everything to find strength, hope and to believe again.
I'm literally hanging by a thread at the moment, a thread thats fast wearing thin but i'm still holding on, barely, struggling but I won't let go.. I hope I don't.
To be honest, a lot of times I still find it hard to believe some of the things that are happening in my life. I mean, I seriously would have never expected it all to happen so soon.. i'm still only 20. But taking a moment to look back on my journey thus far, I feel gratefully happy and excited..
I've worked really hard and i'm just glad that people are taking notice and that i'm beginning to live my boyhood dream. Some may have said or are saying that i'm very lucky. I wouldn't exactly say that I am (personally I don't like it when people attribute my achievements or opportunities to luck).. i'll say that i'm really fortunate and blessed.
I know most of the opportunities that are happening in my life right now will probably never ever come by again.. so as much as I possibly can, i'm enjoying and making the best out of every single moment. I'm also really honored and will always be eternally grateful to have been and still am being guided by some of the most awesome mentors..
Felix Tan, Mark Richmond, Adrian Phuah, Mario Lajcara, Cordelia Fernandez, Jean Danker, Daniel Ong, Celine Lin, Thaddeus Lawrence.. if you are reading this, thank you for your words of wisdom about the industry, for all your teaching and encouragements and for even guiding me through life itself.
I've never done this publicly before but here goes an attempt at a long list of names in alphabetical order. If I missed your name out, it wasn't deliberate but perhaps it also means that it might be time for us to catch up or something..
Eh. I did not just copy and paste your names from my phonebook okay haha. Each and every one of you really are very special people in my life. I know i'm almost always going on and on about how i'm very grateful and such but I really wouldn't be where and who I am without you.
Some of us may have drifted over time, but I still thank you for being part of my life and all our cherished moments. No amount or expression of words will ever be able to truly convey the gratitude and love from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being a part of my life, walking beside me through this incredible journey..
Thank you for believing in me, for all the encouragements and meaningful messages, hugs or even a simple smile. Thank you especially for always being the amazing you! :)
I did my very first commercial voice over in a studio at Ubi today and it was such an awesome experience! It felt really cool just being in the recording room hearing myself do the lines with a professional studio microphone (the kind that singers record their songs with) and a sound engineer directing me behind the glass window..
Okay but I have to also admit that it did feel a bit strange listening to myself on playback.. even though I've probably heard my own voice a million times, somehow it still felt as if I was hearing myself for the first time! I was like "oh gosh, so thats exactly how I sound like to others.."
It was such a new (well not literally, but it totally felt like it) and exciting opportunity and I reckon I actually learnt so much more about my own voice and techniques over the few hours in the recording room and I'd just like to share my personal experience with those of you who have the same dream and want to do this someday..
I guess the most important aspect about being a voice talent or when doing any recording, is the voice itself. You've got to be perfectly comfortable with your own voice and even though this might sound extremely narcissistic, you have to love your own voice. Think about it, if you hate the sound of your own voice.. would anyone ever want or bother to listen to you?
I used to not like my own voice. The very first time I picked up a microphone, I literally went "shit this is my voice?!". Thankfully after puberty, it changed. But even now there are still instances where I sound irritatingly nasal or high pitched. And thats the other important thing..
You've got to be wary of the way you sound or how you want to sound. For many of us, we simply talk the way we do, but the ones who have perfected the art and are so good at it are the ones who are totally aware and have complete control over how they sound or how they want to sound.
I like to call it putting character into your voice. Your personality, the desired emotions and that special spark.. letting those 3 aspects shine just through your voice alone. Its not a talent all of us are naturally born with but with effort, I believe its definitely something that any one can improve on.
Some day I want people to know me not as "the one with the cliche deejay voice" but as Matt, the recognizable voice that is relatable, genuine and one that connects with them in a special way.. the way a close friend would over the phone.
Hmm.. another area I personally need to work and improve on in the meantime, is my diction. I often won't bother articulating myself unless I really have to (its only when i'm on stage or something that i'll make that extra bit of effort to be more conscious of the way I speak).
But I realize i'm still not good or experienced enough to switch between conversing normally (without needing to emphasize on my words) and having to be professional and pronunciation perfect which is pretty damn critical in what I do.
So i'm not going to be lazy even under normal circumstances anymore. I will enunciate all my words whenever I speak. Not in an attempt to be an ang mo wannabe with some fake accent though, I just want to speak well. I think its important that we all try to..
Anyway, a really surreal surprise happened while I was doing my recording.. it was almost like icing on the cake! The two people I grew up listening to on the radio, came in to the studio to do their commercial voice overs as well..
Jamie Yeo and Justin Ang.. these are two amazing radio personalities i've always looked up to and aspire to be as good as someday. Even though I do actually know them, it was the realization that I was meeting them IN the studio that really made me go "oh my goodness! This really isn't just a dream anymore!".. my voice is going national!
So its the second week of a new school semester and i'm clearly not as enthusiastic anymore. What a difference a week makes, or rather, the cruel reality of deadlines. Just 10 days of school and my cohort's already slapped with our first major submission due next week!
Its no secret that I absolutely dislike mondays but I think that feeling's starting to spill over to tuesdays too. Tuesdays are the longest day on my academic timetable. 8 hours of lectures from morning to evening with only an hour's break in between! I swear its going to be a constant weekly struggle to stay awake by mid afternoon. Heck, it already is.
Friday oh friday please happen already! Thats like my ultimate favorite day because it signifies the end of a long week of school or work and the start of a well deserved do what I want weekend! Then again, maybe its just the awesome fact that I don't have classes on fridays..
The latest video i've uploaded is actually the most time consuming project i've ever worked on. It took me almost 10 freaking hours to produce it.. from selecting, converting and rendering the clips, editing the footage, processing the whole thing before finally uploading it.
Unfortunately, there were still a lot of technical and audio glitches at the final output but I was already too tired to re-edit any further. Not one of my best but I hope you still enjoyed it.. it was sort of my test pilot episode.
I am looking at possibly producing future materials, hopefully creating something refreshing that you guys will appreciate and enjoy. But here's where I need your help..
I want to improve each and every time I work on something new.. so I'd greatly appreciate it if you can take a few minutes to leave your honest thoughts and suggestions in the comments section of this post, specifically on what you liked and the areas you think I can improve on (content or presentation wise) or maybe even something that you'd like to see in future productions of similar nature..
Special interviews with the cast of Polo Boys, the FHM Girls, the Singapore Idols and more in this montage of all the action that happened at the Channel 5 Charity Car Wash.
The celebrities managed to raise $11,591 in total for Mediacorp's adopted charities HCA Hospice, Rainbow Centre and Operation Smile.
Its really funny how life plays out. One week ago, I was hit with a personal setback. One week later, so many things have happened. Life hasn't stopped one bit. Within this one week, crazy opportunities have presented itself out of nowhere!
I've been contacted by different people wanting me to do some really cool things like.. engaging me to emcee for a countdown party at the end of the year, being a special guest speaker at a seminar, possibly attending launch events, be the host for a local celebrity's concert in december, and maybe even fly off on a sponsored trip to attend a youth conference next month.
One thing that i'm personally very honored about is how some organizations are seeing me as a potential journalist representing my own media [www.matt.sg] and are inviting me to press sessions and events. Some are even offering me an opportunity to write for them, covering all the latest entertainment and sporting news, if i'm interested.
But as all these amazing things are happening in my life, I feel.. empty.
Its a contradiction of emotions because I am happy yet there seems to be a void in my heart. I hate to admit it but I think I might be burning out mentally and emotionally. Perhaps all these matters of the heart and mind are draining the life and zeal out of me. Right now I feel so hopeless. I don't know why or what I should do about it..
Maybe everything is happening a little too fast. Maybe I still need a little more alone time to sort myself out. I'm not sinking into depression or anything like that, I guess as certain dreams start to become a reality before i'm even ready for it, it inevitably rattles the world and course of my life..
Am I losing myself? I don't think so. I hope that i'm on the road to rediscovering myself instead. For now though, maybe I just need some ice cream with a sprinkle of rainbow rice..
On the very first Singapore Idol Top 13 spectaculars show at Mediacorp's huge tv theatre, one of the producers said to me with an encouraging smile, "Matt, this place is going to be your playground all the way to the final 2. Have fun!"..
I'll be damn honest and say that having fun has never truly been on my mind every single wednesday. I'd always be stressing out and feeling extremely nervous before and each time I had to take the stage through the night..
What was I going to say before the live show, during the 4 freaking-long-minutes breaks and at the results show? How am I possibly going to keep the audience happy and enthusiastic every single week without being repetitive? What if I say too much or too little? What if I mess up (which I still do somehow. Oops!)..
But 5 shows into the season and i'm finally starting to have fun and loving this big playground. I still have so much more to learn and improve on but i'm slowly getting more comfortable and my confidence is building.
You'll never ever see me on tv though. I'll just explain this again to those who still don't quite get how i'm involved with Idol. My role is essentially this.. every time Singapore Idol goes off air, that would be my cue to come in to do my hosting bit live in the studio.
What's particularly awesome is thatI have the freedom and confidence from the producers to do and say absolutely anything I want. Usually i'd go around talking to the supporters and sometimes even interact with the judges and Gurmit directly..
Call me brave or insane but I honestly don't think about it when i'm doing things there and then and i'd go home at the end of the show, instantly crashing from exhaustion.
But when it hits me the next morning, i'd be all excited recalling that "woah, I actually had a conversation with Dick, Florence, Ken and even shared a joke with Mr PCK himself in the studio with everyone else!".
Very unbelievably surreal.
Oh, I especially love the hours before the show goes live on tv because i'd be backstage chilling and chatting with the awesome dudes and babes. They'd always make me smile, sharing with me their funny life stories. Singapore Idols or not, cool friends and people they definitely are.
Hmm.. its been quite an interesting Idol journey for me so far. I'm just really glad that I have this opportunity to learn and push myself to be a better host every single week. Also always going to remember the good people I've gotten to know, with whom I treasure and hope to continue forging these new friendships with.
As I sit writing this reflection of my experiences from the past weeks and all the vivid memories of it, there's a huge smile on my face and in my heart. I am living my dream.. and I'm very happy and grateful.
I don't think i've ever been this enthusiastic and optimistic over the start of a new semester of school. I'm seriously very excited, extremely happy to be seeing a few people again and loving every single moment of how its been so far..
There have already been a few firsts this new school term. For one, it was the first time I finally went to the gym after like years of procrastinating. Embarrassing thing is, I didn't even attempt the kind of weights every other "crazily self obsessed with their body" guy in the gym seemed to be lifting but my muscles (or lack thereof) are now bloody aching. Fine fine, I admit that i'm getting old.
Anyway today a friend asked me, what do I do (activity) as an outlet from my hectic life that keeps me happy.. and I said sports, no prizes for guessing which one especially. But yea, sports does take my mind off matters and always makes me truly happy doing it.
I've actually planned out a personal"sports timetable" to fit into my schedule and I just hope that i'll stick to it and not retire from these gym, running, swimming, bowling, football and dance sessions after just one week haha.
Hmm.. right now, i've got a public confession to make.
Yesterday was the first time I fell passionately in love again.. with radio. After doing my first radio show on the first day of school (special thanks to those who left your dedications on my blog or facebook!), I have to say i'm ecstatic. I'm now fronting my own radio show every monday and co-hosting another every thursday on NP's campus radio station (Radio Heatwave).
I guess to summarize my thoughts.. i've never been even more sure of what I want to be doing for the next 10 years of my life. Within the next 10 years, I definitely will be doing what i've always loved and dreamt about.. I will be a producer-presenter on national radio.
But radio's not going to be the only thing i'm focusing on over the next six months. I'll also be working hard towards building my portfolio and experience as a host for television, a field journalist and a producer.
I suppose the best part is that i'll be doing all these while schooling at the same time because some of the modules i'm taking this semester are precisely that..
And that, is one of the other thing i'm loving as well.. school. I'm not and will never be a nerd but I have to be honest that i'm really excited and looking forward to most of the modules and projects. Its going to be a great semester!
Six awesome months of school, external media endeavors, doing the things I love, pursuing my dreams, exploring new possibilities, spending time with the people I love as much as I can.. I'm living my life with no regrets and i'm loving it.
I didn't sleep at all last night. I just couldn't. I laid in bed with a million thoughts in my head, reflecting on a lot of things. All through the darkness of the early morning, my heart was deeply pierced, my aspirations shattered and all my dreams seemed hopelessly impossible. It was emotionally painful.
I guess what made it hurt so much was the disappointment in myself more than anything else. I'm someone who sets certain expectations for myself and will work really hard to meet them, always ensuring I give my absolute best in most of the things I do..
But when my best is just never going to be good enough, its very demoralizing. Its especially devastating when I put so much effort and hope on something only to have it dashed instantly. That was what happened yesterday and I just couldn't help but be overwhelmed with a very heavy heart.
It was personally a crushing blow, probably the biggest yet. I had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many doubts.. it even came to a point where I reasoned that maybe i'm just not and will never be cut out for this and should forget about it entirely.
But after thinking about it all through the night, it hit me really hard that I shouldn't let one major adversity overwhelm me negatively for too long.. the fact is, the higher the hopes the bigger the blow is always going to be when things don't work out.
Its all these failures and experiences that makes me grow though. Setbacks and struggles are inevitable and unpredictable. Disappointments may make me cry, people may laugh or write me off but no matter how badly its ever going to affect me, I hope i'll still always be able to find the strength to overcome the odds and bounce back eventually.
Right now, i'm slowly picking up the pieces of my shattered heart and dreams.. I will continue pushing on to overcome the challenges. I'm going to trudge on with stronger determination and belief. I can do this.
Today for like 5 hours straight, 5 boys (Amar, Jon, Lynn, Syad, Matt) in a dark room, eyes glued on the tv screen, mouths agape, hands kept busy throughout and at the climatic moments, erupted in a euphoric scream of male excitement..
..we were not watching porn. We were playing probably the best virtual football game ever created to date! The new and improved FIFA 10 is the sex. Heck, the gameplay and graphics alone is already so damn incredible, its like watching an actual live match!
So instead of just screaming at all the superstar footballers during a real game on tv, every boy's wish of always wanting to control our favorite team is now just a controller away! And I swear the game is damn addictive.
I could go on gushing about the game but I think you guys really ought to just get your hands on FIFA 10 before it flies off the shelves. If you love your football, you will never regret this buy at all.
And girls, if you want your boyfriend to love you ten times over, this would be the perfect surprise gift to get him.. but! I have to warn you that you're taking a huge relationship risk because he'll completely neglect you over the next month(s) haha!
The beautiful (virtual) game has once again been taken to a whole new exciting level. Ooh boy, I reckon watching live football matches on tv will never ever be the same again. Play the game and you'll totally know what I mean..
I just came from an overnight chalet with the Heatwave deejaysat Chevrons. Now when you put a bunch of crazy, kinky but awesome individuals all in one room, things are bound to happen. It was a night of sexy fun and scandalous moments till the early hours of morning..
It was also the very first time in my life that I drank.
Some of you might probably think its unbelievable, maybe even loser-ish that I finally had my first drink(s) at 20 but its just personal preference. I've abstained all these while only because i've never really liked (and still don't) drinking as it is.
It wasn't a case of caving in to peer pressure. Real friends won't force you to do something you don't want to. I drank because I wanted to. I figured that someday I will have to drink at social functions and events anyway so being in the company of friends I trust, I wanted to enjoy the moment with them.
The amazing thing was, I probably downed more than 10 shots of Vodka and various alcoholic concoctions but was still perfectly sober throughout the night (must be the korean drinking genes haha!). I really don't like the bloody burning sensation as I downed the Vodka in a gulp though. I sound pretty hoarse now (almost voiceless) which is not good with Singapore Idol on tomorrow.
But it was a good night. So much fun sitting in a circle in that ultra cold room, laughing till we teared and our stomachs hurt over a lot of hilarious incidents and things said. And it wasn't just the high moments, had some individual heart to heart talk time with a few of them and also the opportunity to better know the rest i've never really spoken much to.
As a matter of fact, one cool thing that happened at the chalet was the chance meeting with someone for the very first time (well not technically, but sort of officially) because the thing is, we've been hearing so much of each other but never actually knew who the other really was.
Candice Miller is one of the stars from Mediacorp's Okto channel and when we finally got acquainted for the first time, she was like "omg Matt, its an honor to meet you!". There I was completely dumbfounded trying to hide my own evident excitement meeting someone i've only ever heard so much about.
But its really awesome how we both knew of each other's existence even before we met and the mutual respect and admiration we already had for one another. I'm still in awe and positively shocked actually. The funny irony is, we actually first met and even spoke face to face on a pervious occasion during some Mediacorp show but were obviously oblivious.
Anyway, definitely great times and memories at chalet with the team thats going to take campus radio to a whole new level. On a personal ending note, this will always be remembered as the night I had my first drink (I just want my freaking voice back fast! Anyone knows an instant remedy?)..
A new semester of school will start again in exactly one week and i'm secretly looking forward to it. I mean, the holidays have been undoubtedly awesome but I miss being in campus on a school day and the whole "hey, i'm a student!" life.
I've actually already set new goals for the second half of the academic year. For one, i'm going to be a lot more studious and focus on getting even better grades instead of only loving the process of acquiring new knowledge and skills.
No, I am not a nerd. Studying is not my thing at all. I'm the kind who sees the value of learning through experience rather than getting good grades for the sake of it simply by memorizing a whole lot of text.
Thats the unforgiving reality (and flaw) of the world though, we need to score those damn grades which may better secure our places in the school or a certain job of our choice (but will not necessarily guarantee success).
Someone asked me this.. what if I ever end up in a dilemma having to choose between a massive once in a lifetime opportunity and furthering my education?
Well I honestly don't have a definite answer at this point in time. I'll probably only start to contemplate the issue seriously when it actually happens..
For now, while I am able to make my own decisions for the months ahead, i've decided that school will take priority because I am still a full time student after all.
But thats not to say i'll completely stop all other activities. Even though i'll be cutting back on all these external involvement once the semester gets into full swing, I'll definitely try to build my portfolio at the same time and continue working towards my dreams.
Oh! Speaking of dreams, one of the things i'm really looking forward to about the coming semester is the Radio module i'll be taking. Over the next 6 months, I'll be studying that module but more than just learning for the grades, I will be practicing hard to improve my radio producer-presenter skills.
So I really can't wait for school to begin because I've got a feeling that its going to be a great term ahead and i'm all set for it. But as vacation enters its final week, i'll make the most of the last seven days and hopefully remember this holiday period to be the best i've ever had..
This is probably going to always be one of the most meaningful personal project and video i've ever done. Its long overdue, but today I finally decided to put the clips together and I actually teared in the process of editing this.
A special footage from the trip to the Philippinesthat really changed my perspective on a lot of things for the better. I hope this video will touch and inspire you as well..
Retail therapy actually works for me. I'm not much of a shopper but when I do shop (usually on days when I feel really down and the temptation and urge to splurge is at its peak), it'll be like massive spending by the hundreds in just a few hours.
Like today. I bought a couple of things and feel pretty happy with my purchases although some were admittedly impulsive buys. But I particularly love the new shoes (street soccer ones) I got for a game of football with the guys next monday and a sports bag which I simply couldn't walk out of the shop without. I tried but it was just too matt-perfect.
Anyway while buying the soccer shoes today, it made me remember the time I got my very first pair of soccer boots.. I was 9 years old and selected to be part of my primary school's soccer team.
The "getting my first pair of boots" was like a family affair down to the huge sports shop at Great World City with me being the very excited child while my parents acted as the price moderators (they were paying for it after all).
I vividly recall making my choices based on my favorite players and the brand of boots they wore. It eventually came down to Michael Owen and David Beckham.. Umbro vs Adidas. For those who know about my preference for all things Adidas, you might be surprised to know that Umbro won on that very first occasion.
Nostalgic memories. I loved my first pair of soccer boots! I wore it till all the studs were flattened, I kept it even after the soles started to rip apart. I guess its just human nature for us to always want to cling on to something special or close to our hearts.
I actually have like a secret box full of items which really meant something to me at that point of time and I just couldn't and probably still can't bear to throw them away.
These days, I buy and discard things as and when they start losing its appeal (which is usually pretty fast because I have a very short attention span). I suppose having the ability to purchase on my own has significantly decreased the intangible value and appreciation of the things I buy.
I used to depend on my parents or needed to seek their approval on stuff I wanted to get (which probably made it more sentimental?). But now, with money in the bank and not needing parental consent, I can purchase something new or better (also known as useless and unnecessary) whenever I want to.
But having said all that, I still reckon retail therapy works for me. At least it makes me happy again at the end of a long shopping day (takes my mind off my problems and channels it towards the bloody receipts instead). Its really either that or going on a good food marathon!
I am not Mr Rainbows & Sunshine. Not at all. I may look happy and appear optimistic most of the time (because I genuinely am) but I also do have my shit days and moments and I do get upset and emotional about it.
Truth is, I know people are always talking about me.. the good, the bad and all the ugly lies that they spin. I'm fine with it because I know i'm not perfect but I always try my best, not in trying to change people's perception of me, but in everything I do and that keeps me going.
Everyone of us will always make judgements about others, its not something that will ever change. I don't hate the people who bitches about me out of jealous or whatever reasons they may have because ultimately its simply a reflection of the person they are.
But even though i'm aware of people constantly talking behind my back, I still do get shocked and upset whenever I find out who the specific person is that instigated the spreading of malicious rumors. Upset because that certain person is someone I regard as a friend even if we may not be particularly close.
To you, I know who you are and all the things you've said or been saying. I feel backstabbed and hurt but I don't hate you for it. Despite betraying my trust, I still forgive you. If you choose to go on about it, i'll leave it to you to decide if you still think our friendship is worth something and I promise i'll make time for you if you want to to talk things out personally.
Of all the gossip i've heard about me, i'll confirm this to be true.. I am not a nice guy. There's a very clear line of my tolerance level with regards to bitching. I may be alright with direct attacks at or about me, but if you EVER insult my family or closest friends.. thats crossing it. And believe me when I say I'll get extremely pissed off and not take it lightly.
I know a lot of you reading this may not know me personally but may already have a certain opinion about me just based on the way I write and what I update in this blog. I respect that. But I just want you to know that i'm also always extending my hand out to you to get to know me for who I am as a person.. its up to you if you want to accept the handshake.
Hmm despite all the negativity and hate I have to endure on an everyday basis, what keeps me sane, grounded, happy and going, is the loved ones around me. I can never ever be grateful enough to have the support from my own family and awesome friends.. we're always together through all our joyful and most trying moments.
I will continue working hard and pursuing my dreams but even before I achieve them, I'd like to express from the bottom of my heart, the gratitude and appreciation I have towards every one of you who believes in me and are always supporting and encouraging me along the way.
Truth is, you already are the reality of a beautiful dream..
Its hard not to notice Collette whenever she walks into a room. She'd obviously make heads turn with her good looks and sense of fashion but there's also a spark about her that just seems to light up the atmosphere whenever she's around.
Collette's a friend of mine from school and behind that giggly girly nature, she's actually very driven, always challenging herself to something new. Growing up watching America's Next Top Model and reading all the latest fashion magazines, it inspired her to dream of one day becoming a top model herself.
Despite the huge obstacle of aspiring to be in an industry where height is as important as looks, Collette doesn't want to let that (her height) affect her modeling ambitions too much but to focus on her strengths in other aspects instead and to keep on doing her best working towards her dream.
In fact, she's already taking that huge step forward by signing up and making it to the finals of The New Paper's New Face 09. Out of the hundreds who auditioned for this modeling competition, she made it to the top 20 and will be competing for the title and crown.
This is a stepping stone for Collette, her first shot at her dreams and i'm sure with her beauty, brains and bubbly personality, its really only the beginning to her road of becoming possibly Singapore's next top model! :)
..promising that the evening will be even more memorable (and oh so scandalous haha!) than her first night with her wedded husband, who is also my best friend (i'm very confident that they'll get married eventually!). I'll remember today as the beginning of a beautiful wedding story..
I always feel really blessed to have some of the most amazing friends. Besides being the awesome individuals that they are, they are also incredibly talented. And i'm not just saying it..
Some of my friends are going to be (or already are) a top model, designer, editor, businessman, chef, dancer, singer, host, photographer, athlete, politician even.. the list simply goes on! They all have their goals and dreams and are constantly working hard towards them and that I think, is what makes them so remarkably outstanding.
There are a few of them in particular who i'm especially proud of because I was there when they first started out and its just heartwarming to see them grow and the direction they are heading towards now. I believe in every one of them, I believe they have the ambition, talent and right attitude to succeed and most times all they simply need is a platform and opportunity to show that.
I really understand that struggle because I've been through the exact same situation where I felt I was ready for something bigger but everything just seemed so stagnant and unreachable. So as much as I possibly can, i'll always try to help them..
Recently, I conducted my first hosting workshop for a group of aspiring emcees. I know i'm a nobody and still have much to learn myself, but there are already so many things i've picked up, mistakes i've committed and its all these experiences and stories that I felt I had and wanted to share with this group who were about to start out.
I'm also currently mentoring a bunch of first-time hosts for a huge event in November and even before they take that big stage (where there'll be thousands in the audience), i'm already so damn proud of them. From not daring to talk to a group of 20, they can now stand confidently in front of a crowd of more than a hundred and blabber away without being too nervous or script dependent.
Hmm.. there are occasions where I even feel that a few of them really deserve to shine on a much bigger platform but probably never had the chance to.. as best as I can, i'd try to find them such opportunities when I think and they feel they're ready for the challenge. Like just a few months ago, I hooked 3 of my friends up (because I thought they had immense hosting potential) to host one of the biggest national events and they did an absolutely terrific job!
During this year's Asian Youth Games, I also managed to get a photographer friend who wanted to build up his photography experience and portfolio, an all-access media pass for the Games. Another of my aspiring photographer friend who's been helping to take pictures at my events was recently noticed for her photography skills and was offered her first paid job!
And speaking of photography, i'm happy to say that a few of my friends with dreams of becoming a model will now be (or in fact some already are) on giant posters and magazine spreads..
Why do I help them? Because I really do believe in them and feel that perhaps all they need is a little push in the right direction. There's also this indescribable joy in helping friends and watching them succeed with huge smiles on their faces when it hits them that they really are doing something they thought they could only dream about.
But as much as i'm glad to help or guide others, I hate it when people try to use me or my connections as a shortcut to their ambitions. I am not your agent or fairy godfather. I'll always try my best to offer my advice to you through my own experiences if you'd like to know but please don't expect me to fulfill your dreams for you.
In time to come you'll probably realize that to succeed, it takes a lot of hard work and determination. There's no secret or shortcut to it, focus and work towards making your own success and you will eventually. Don't simply depend on others all the time.
Anyway, i'm going to be starting a new blog post every random day of the month. This particular series of entries will be somewhat special because i'll be writing about my friends (who've already achieved some sort of success in their respective ways or fields) and their dreams.
These will be ordinary people living extraordinary lives, with an inspiring story to tell. These are my friends and these are their dreams..
Preparations for RED Camp 6, a 3 days camp for O Level graduates organized by Ngee Ann Poly, are underway and I can't help but smile just thinking about it. I've been around since the second RED Camp (as a camper then) all through the sixth edition this year and its an event that will always have a special place in my heart.
So this week we had a Student Leaders (SLs) camp to get to know fellow SLs as well as to prepare all the necessary stuff required for the big event in November. Personally, I thought this was a rather meaningful camp in a special way and that this year's batch of SLs are one of the most awesome we've ever had (..we are so cool and so awesome! haha).
In every camp, there'll be the inevitable cheers, fun and games which was the case in this SL camp, but I felt that it was special because it was also so much more than just simply running around screaming our lungs out. I'm not going to elaborate but i'm sure every one of us present at camp must've felt the same and will know what i'm talking about..
RED Camp 6.. to some of us, its going to be our first while to a few others, its going to be the last. I belong to the latter, this will be my final RED Camp after years of being part of it.
But i'm confident to say that RED Camp 6 is not just going to be a success simply built upon fun and laughter (and good food of course haha!) but its going to be the best yet in a very special way that will be remembered for a really really long time by us, the SLs, and RED Campers alike.
We're going to create the the most memorable 3 days ever. And I promise you (graduating SLs especially), there will definitely be tears at the finale.. tears of joy, sadness, accomplishment, friendships, memories and so much more. This is really only the beginning..
I've decided to stop producing Vlog on Idol.. because I don't have as much time as I used to these days (school's starting in 2 weeks) and I guess it was just something thats wasn't appreciated at all.
Through the production of the few episodes, I've actually learnt quite a bit more about filming, editing and things like that but I concede that I failed in terms of producing something that would be of interest to the masses.
And as it is in show biz, the plug is always pulled on something thats just not working. Still, i'm happy and its definitely a personal satisfaction to have embarked on this project, gaining new experiences in the process. I won't be stopping here though, I've discovered this love and interest and will continue pursuing it and possibly producing new concepts in future.
Anyway my actual involvement with Singapore Idol is hosting at the studio. Every wednesday before Gurmit takes the stage on national tv, i'll be the one hyping up and interacting with the studio audience each time Singapore Idol goes for a commercial break or off air.
Its actually quite fun but if i'm being completely honest, its also extremely stressful. Its like, i'm literally thrown out there with only the producers' faith and confidence in my ability.. whatever I say or do is entirely up to me.
And thats the thing, there's always that constant pressure and fear that i'll mess up somehow when I really shouldn't (mess up). I'd get all jittery backstage one hour before the show starts and will be singing BEP's "I've got a feeling" on loop to psyche myself that it IS going to be a good night.
In the first 2 shows, I didn't know when to say what and there were too many awkward moments of dead air (which means absolute silence). That always scares me.. when I run out of things to say or to keep the audience entertained.
But i'm slowly beginning to build up my confidence as the weeks go by and starting to really enjoy this whole Singapore Idol experience. I can never be grateful enough to have been given this hosting opportunity and its also really nice to be able to get to know a few amazing people on a personal level through this journey..
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The producers and crew.. they are always encouraging and giving me feedback every week, telling me if I did well or how I should improve. They've never once said anything negative to my face but are always telling me "you can do it" and i'm just so humbled and grateful (but also feel double the pressure to deliver haha).
The judges and host.. I was actually really scared of them (especially Ken) and was a bit star struck when I first met them but despite the judges seemingly harsh comments and such, they're very nice people. Gurmit seems to be getting a lot of flak over his hosting ability but the armchair critics should really watch him live in action. He is amazing and you can't deny his success and accomplishments after so many years in this industry. Gurmit is someone I look up to with awe and i'm really honored that I can learn from him.
The contestants.. I'll always have a little chat with them before and after the show and all I have to say is that they are just like you and me.. they're very real. The only difference is their incredible determination to pursue their dreams in front of the entire nation. These guys and girls are simply awesome and they will always have my utmost respect and support.
The supporters.. almost every week, there'll be a certain core group of supporters coming back to cheer on the contestants and i'm starting to know a few of them on a personal level which is really cool. They make my hosting stint on stage so much more enjoyable!
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I've got a confession to make. I admit I was actually damn excited when I was first offered this unexpected once-in-a-lifetime hosting opportunity because I thought this was "taking a step closer to my dreams/ the big break" but thats different now because ironically, my hosting ambitions are the last thing on my mind.
For me, the greatest joy is simply doing what I love, constantly learning, pushing and challenging myself on a bigger platform. Its no longer about where I hope to be ultimately, but really just appreciating being in the moment of now, giving my 100% every single time and making the best of every bit of this memorable experience.
This, is my own Singapore Idol journey and story..
Afiq and I would like to dedicate this special version of the first song we covered to you guys. Thank you for supporting us through your comments and encouragements from the very first video we did. We'll continue covering more songs and hopefully some originals soon! Hope you'll enjoy this "surprise" video we did of Jason Mraz's awesome song!
Do leave a comment if you'd like to, we really appreciate it!
And once again from the bottom of our hearts, thank you :)
You know i've always wondered what it'd be like to be "the voice" behind a certain promo or documentary that people would be listening to on tv.. I had the chance to find out today when I did some voice over recording at a studio for the Youth Olympic Games.
Honestly, I was extremely excited just being in a proper studio surrounded by all the recording equipments with a sound engineer handling the audio aspects (finally a pro doing the edit while all I had to do was talk) as the producer directed and guided me through the whole thing. Even though it was my first time, I felt very comfortable doing the recording and was super happy because this really was what i've always loved and wanted to do..
By the way, I think my voice sounds very weird recorded. All along I've presumed (or probably deceived myself) that i've got like a pretty low deep manly voice but when they played back my voice recording, I was shocked! Like "who the heck's that Mickey Mouse?!".. my voice sounded higher pitched than how I thought I sounded through the headphones as I spoke!
Gosh.. is this how i've always sounded to every one of you who've ever heard me speak? Because i've realized what we THINK our voices sound like to us might be totally different to another person. For example, a certain aspiring singer might think she sound like Beyonce but to others, her voice may be "Beyond Safe (to listen to)".
Ooh random.. I reckon we all sound sexiest when we utter our first few words straight after waking up! But anyway, though it was a tad bit embarrassing hearing my own voice on playback, I truly enjoyed the whole experience.. my very first professional voice recording.
In one unexpected moment, the world became a blur. My bloody spectacles broke. I know i'm a klutz at times but I swear I didn't break my own glasses on this occasion, the metallic frames literally just fell apart on its own! Soon after, the lenses cracked as well, and that was erm.. my fault.
With the frame already broken, I stuffed my glasses into my pocket with the intention of trying to salvage it somehow.. then it happened. I squatted down, forgetting I had something fragile in my pocket, till it was too late. There was a very distinct cracking sound and instantly I was like "OH SHIT!".. true enough, the glass lenses were broken into pieces!
I am quite annoyed right now. Not just because of the world becoming a blur (till I get new spectacles.. i'm quite tempted to buy the thick black frames army styled ones! Haha!) but also because my already puny eyes are practically non existent now.
Bucket List, its about creating a list of things you want to do before you die. An idea inspired from the movie, I created a different sort of Bucket List some time at the beginning of my school holidays..
I knew my schedule was going to be packed with events and such this holidays. But I didn't want to only be so caught up in hectic madness every moment and end up burning away what I might later regret as a wasted holiday.
So I created a special Bucket List which I would now like to call "My Holidays Bucket List of Memories, Happiness and Love". I made a promise to myself that no matter how crazy busy my life was going to be this holidays, i'd still make the effort and time for the people I care about.
There was inevitably the initial doubt that it might end up as empty promises but I was really determined to make it work and stay true to it. And so, I created my very own list of things I wanted to do for and with the people who mean the most in my life, before the holidays come to an end..
A list not written by me, but by the people I love.
There're still a couple more weeks before the holidays end but i'm extremely grateful to say that i've already spent some of the best and most meaningful time of my life with family and friends that I might have otherwise taken for granted.
In the process, i've also learnt that it isn't just about doing the things I love thats of great importance but actually doing it with the people I love and sharing the joy with them that truly magnifies the feeling and makes the moment even more special.
I can be working so hard towards my dreams, realizing all my goals one by one but there'll be no meaning to my success if I neglect every one else in the process and eventually end up standing alone in nothing but my own achieved misery.
There are a lot of times I can't actually hang out or meet up with friends as much or as often as i'd like to but i'll still always try to make the effort to whenever I can, even if it means pushing back everything or saying no to something else.
I guess its about making a choice on what's more important to us sometimes. Personally, through all the crazy things that have been happening in my life, it really struck me that there is no such thing as "having no time", its simply about "making time" for what's important to you.
I count myself really lucky because I have amazing friends who're always very understanding and supportive and aren't the kind who'd want to meet up every day or week just for the sake of it. To us, its not about counting the number of times we spend together but making all the times we do spend together count.
Hmm.. I know a lot of people who've been whining about how boring their holidays are at the moment. If you are one such person feeling that way, maybe its a good time to do the things you've always wanted to do or ring up a friend you've always wanted to hang out with but never actually bothered or had time to initiate anything.
Perhaps you can start creating your own "Holidays Bucket List of Memories, Happiness and Love" with your loved ones and rediscover how amazing they are and truly appreciate everything else a lot more..
I'm having like the best holidays yet! I'm doing the things I love and i'm spending time with the people I love. Even though my schedule's practically packed every hour, every single day, i'm making the most and best out of every moment and that makes and keeps me really happy! :)
Today, I entered the world of Zombies. Today, I finally understood why a lot of people are addicted to the game Left 4 Dead (L4D). Believe it or not, today, I played my first campaign and it was simply awesome..
So I met up with a few of my Mass Comm friends (Pris, Bjorn, Amanda, Zayar) for dinner at Iluma and after a huge serving of not-very-good food at Empire State, we headed to the video arcade on the third floor. Iluma is huge but there are A LOT of empty spaces in between the levels. Poor architectural design?
Anyway, the boys did their whole "I challenge you to a shoot out" on the basketball machine. I tried, and was pathetic. That game takes a certain skill to actually throw the balls INTO the hoops as the clock ticks down and as fatigue starts setting in at each higher level. It really gets the adrenaline pumping but its not as easy as the high-scoring pros make it look!
For the record, i'm a football loving kinda guy.
Oh, and is it just me or are certain arcade games a bit too pricey? I mean, $2 for a few minutes on a virtual car or motorbike? But then again, there are people who actually spend up to hundreds on those "win the jackpot prize" machines without batting an eyelid.
Sure there's that thrill of coming close to winning but to spend that much money on a prize you would have been able to buy for a quarter of the amount spent trying to win it is quite silly (especially if its a soft toy that will probably be thrown out after about a year). I'd know, I wasted $94 on an arcade game once futilely trying to win a PSP. In the end, I figured I had a 100% chance buying one instead.
But back to the topic.. L4d. I've never understood the hype of this game a lot of people keep raving about. So today, I gave it a a shot with my friends (Bjorn, Zayar and Pris while Amanda cheered us on) and I have to say, we were blown away.. and like attacked by some fat bitch who spat disgusting slime on us, some monster with a really long tongue, a witch and zillions of zombies.
Everyone else around us at the gaming arena were pro gamers communicating strategies and code words to their team mates while the 4 of us were total noobs (I believe thats a gamer term for amateur?) screaming, literally, at every zombie that came rushing at us. I reckon people thought we were mad.
But its so awesome playing with friends, laughing and screaming out loud, working together as a team to ensure our survival or risk getting bitch slapped by a fat bitch (inside joke) in the virtual world. It was the first L4d experience for the few of us but i'm damn sure its not going to be last..
I bought a new bag. It was actually an impulsive buy but i've been looking for a backpack for quite awhile and when I saw this particular one in some shop at Beach Road today, I was like hey i'm so getting that!
Buying the bag brought back waves of childhood memories. I felt like a little kid all over again walking about happily with my favorite bag, hands holding the straps slung over both shoulders with a wide grin on my face.
The bag's nothing special, its like one of those bulky backpacks all of us used to carry in primary school. I can still recall my very first school bag in primary one. It was this blue Spiderman bag which I thought was the coolest one in the entire school!
Remember how we loved to "endorse" our favorite cartoon characters on our school bags back in those days? Everyone had such cute and colorful designs of Barbie, Ultraman and whatnot. It might seem really childish now, but i'm sure a lot of us really loved our first school bag..
A friend of mine was asking if i'm being engaged by any media company to do Vlog on Idol. Well, no. I'm not doing it for mediacorp (but I'd like to thank them for the invitation to the press conference) nor am I getting remuneration from any other production house.
The series of vlogs i've been doing is a personal project of mine. Everything is entirely independent. From the conceptualization of the series, what to feature in each episode, heading out to the streets for interviews, calling up Paul and Jasmine to join in, editing the clips for upload (I swear, editing is a real bitch), mixing the audio (I don't just dump in a random sound track, I actually select the ones I feel might work and mix them together)..
Its seriously quite a bit of work to be honest. It takes at least 4 hours just to edit a single episode.. cutting out the unnecessary scenes, piecing the clips together to make it seamless, adding in the appropriate sound bites and text timed to the very second to create a certain effect before processing the final edit which takes forever.
But its the holidays now and I enjoy doing it. Its what I love and hope will progress into my desired career eventually. It has always been and still is the very same dream i've had since the age of 14.. to be a good producer-presenter someday (that and a journalist, but i'll save this story for another entry).
I've always wanted to become a radio personality on our national airwaves and its a dream i'm working towards. I didn't want to simply "wait for the big break" though, so I thought hey maybe I ought to create my own opportunities instead.
The thing is, we all have goals we want to achieve but we have to start from somewhere. All these little personal projects are sort of like my preparation to that day I realize these dreams of mine.
It was what inspired "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (GBU)" podcast series last year. I created my own online radio programme co-hosted with my friends Brandon and Munira and we were really excited when that podcast series started attracting a following of listeners. People were actually downloading our episodes and saving them in their mp3s! That was really cool but unfortunately, GBU came to an end due to conflicting schedules.
"Vlog on Idol" is the current personal project i'm embarking on. I might sound a bit ambitious here but i'm hoping to go from national radio to becoming a travel host or television presenter for an international audience one day in future. Its like a lifetime dream.
But I don't only want to host. I love being involved in the production side of things as well. Thats where all the fun really is. Its always exciting to take on a challenge to develop an initial envision into something to be proud of and that others will appreciate.
When people actually say, "hey I enjoyed your podcast/vlog", its a nice feeling and really motivates me to continue producing. Its through all your feedback, messages and comments which gives me an indication on what I might be doing right or wrong and a direction I can look to improving (be it hosting or producing).
I'm aware that i'm investing time and quite a bit of money on all the production equipments which some people might think is stupid, but to me, its all part of the invaluable learning process.
As I brainstorm on concepts, film, host, edit videos, mix audio tracks.. i'm actually learning something new every time and looking on how I can push myself further to improve or produce something better. I know i'm not perfect and my work aren't exactly great, I still have much to learn and will definitely continue doing so.
Ultimately, i'm doing these as a form of training for myself, but its also for the enjoyment of you guys who take the time to give a chance at my work. I'd just like to say thank you because I really do appreciate it.
Hmm.. I believe in dreams but I also believe that it takes a lot of determination and hard work to turn them into reality. Thats a really important thing i've realized in my journey towards my dreams which I want to share with you..
Don't just dream, tell yourself everything is possible and take that first step in doing something about your ambitions. Sometimes, the right opportunities may not seem to come your way but don't let it be an excuse to not do anything. You hold the greatest power in determining your own life no matter what others might say or think..
Jasmine Tye and Paul Twohill from Singapore Idol Season 2 joins me on Vlog on Idol as they share their honest opinions and tips with this season's Top 13. We also hit the streets to find out the public's views on the show and who Singaporeans are rooting for. Special shout out from MTV Veejay Utt in this video as well.
Cameraman for this Video: Adin Kindermann
Exclusive interviews with the Top 13 of Singapore Idol 3. This is the side of them you might not have seen on national TV yet. This is who they really are and what they're really like.. simply fun loving and awesome.
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Question:
Who are you supporting for Singapore Idol this year and why?
If anxiously trying to hail a taxi-thats-not-already-hired when you are potentially late for school, an important appointment or even rushing home, doesn't already kill you.. the price meter would. Because chances are, you probably hopped on to a cab during the peak hour.
My heart stops each time the bloody meter jumps by 20 cents every two seconds. I'll suffer from involuntary spasm whenever I hear the dreaded BEEP as the taxi goes through an ERP gantry and i'll be screaming a whole lot of profanities in my head when the driver eventually stops the meter totaling a disgusting amount inclusive of freaking rates normal human beings like myself will probably never ever be able to figure out.
BUT, i'll always heave a sigh of relief when I arrive at the meeting right on time. Its a suicidal way to start your morning, do it too often and you WILL die one day.. the day when the taxi meter jumps by $1 every second. Mark my words, it will happen. We should all start investing in roller blades.
Anyway, taxi incident left me pondering on 2 issues..
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Money. More often that not, we tend to waste our income or allowances buying and spending on things we don't actually need. We as teenagers, don't appreciate the value and hard work behind the cash in our wallets. We spend it freely, we ask for more when we run out because money is essential in our daily life of materialistic greed. We want to buy new clothes just to keep up with the latest fashion trends, we want to look cool dining at hip food joints or branded Coffee outlets and not ever be seen at those "low class" hawker centers. Cash never seems enough when we hang out with our friends or go on dates. But have you ever asked yourself if you really need all these? Is conformity to peer or social pressure that important to you?
Time. Unlike money, we can never get time back once its gone. Yet, we treat time the same way we treat cash.. we waste it. So many times we live in past regrets. We wish we could have done things better, we curse at things that went wrong.. if only we had the ability to go back in time to say the things to people we never had the chance to or to correct our mistakes. The whole problem is that most of us are still living in past misery instead of looking and living for the future, and by doing that, we're only wasting the moment of now. You can pause your life at any point, but the world won't ever stop for you. Time constantly ticks away, things change, opportunities fly by, people come and go.
Money and Time. Two important and unavoidable issues in our lifetime. All of us treat each a different way, we value one more than the other for various reasons. Hmm i'd just like you to leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this, what if the below scenario ever happens to you..
You are given 2 choices. A choice of US$1,000,000 (a million) which you'll never again be able to earn back if you forsake this chance, or one final hour with your dying father and mother, both of whom you'll never ever get to see again. You can only pick one, forfeiting the other..
Got invited down to the press conference as a journalist
(I'd love to write a really lengthy and detailed review of what each individual shared but I don't exactly have time now so i'll just upload the pictures with a little caption)
Justin Japtalked about wanting to work extra hard
to do himself, his parents and supporters proud
Farhan Shah shared about the positive and negative public attention he has been receiving and how he's dealing with them
Duane Ho described himself as a Tomato
"I'm round, soft and juicy"
Faizal Isa wants to establish an identity he hopes people will remember him for and not compare him with any one else
Charles Wong is one of the most hard working contestant and he always takes a step back to reflect on the feedback from judges, friends and fans
Sezairi Sezali is undoubtedly the funny man of the Top 13, he related a story where a boyfriend threatened to break up with one of his female fans because of him
These 6 guys are all set to impress Singapore
and win your hearts over
And now, the 7 babes of Idol this season
Syltra Lee is the cool chick with an attitude (in a really good way). She always keeps it real but gets completely misunderstood by others occasionally
Sylvia Ratonel shared about the few stalker incidents she has already encountered but laughed about the funny side of things. Next time you see her, just mention "umbrella"
TabithaNauser loves her cheese and nutella cupcakes. She's really interesting to listen to because she can go on and on about absolutely anything. Very likable in a girls' girlfriend-sister kinda way
Malaque Mahdaly doesn't want to try too hard to please everyone but wants people to accept her for who she is and to be able to connect with her through her performance and vice versa.
Mae Sta Maria is as Singaporean as you and I. She cares a lot about everyone around her and thats a quality you'll instantly realize about her. There's just something special about Mae which hopefully Singapore will come to love through the weeks
Fathin Amira talked about how her friends and teachers in school are constantly teasing about how proud and happy they are for her. She may be one of the youngest and smallest contestant, but this girl is very determined
Nurul Huda replaces MJ Kuok who has withdrawn from Idol citing personal reasons. Nurul is so hilariously cute with all her random antics and animated expressions. Definitely an awesome thing to have her back on Idol
I'd just like to say this to viewers of the show (as the 13 would also agree).. if you have the opportunity, get to know these guys for who they are. Don't just assume they're a certain way based on your own judgements and start fabricating stories or directing malicious personal attacks at them without any basis or genuine facts.
Believe me when I say they're all extremely nice individuals.
Sincere, genuine, determined and of course, talented.
Its been a good weekend. Met up with my best friends for dinner, briefly saw a few of my closest friends which made me really happy, spent a day with the family, found time to finally revamp my entire room, hosted a dinner pageant at Hilton hotel and I got to sleep for like hours! Awesome.
I'm very anxious about the coming week though because certain things are going to happen that might change my life. Things I only dared to dream about and hope i'll come close to achieving when i'm 25.
This is not just about taking a step closer to my dreams anymore, if all goes well, this may be the moment I actually realize them. I'm extremely excited yet nervous at the same time.
But hey, i'm just going to do my best and regardless of the outcome, continue working hard, never giving up. I'm already very happy and grateful for everything in life and for the awesome friends and people that I know.
_
Making every day special, cherishing every moment! :)
For the past 10 minutes, I was just staring at all the live updates flooding my facebook newsfeed. A lot of the status updates were quite interesting with the exception of some silly ones, a few people were declaring their love while there were others who were evidently in a bad mood..
It was a constant stream of by-the-second updates about people's lives, thoughts, mood, relationship status and more. But that was when this thought hit me.. have all these forms of online communication (twitter, tumblr, blogs, MSN, etc) made us way too connected?
I mean, its totally awesome that we have such networks that connects us with friends anywhere in the world, especially long lost ones from our childhood days, but are we becoming too virtually reliant in our relationship with them?
There was a time, when we'd actually miss our friends we lost touch with for months or those who went overseas, because our means of communication was compromised. We'd always look forward to their return because then we'd arrange to meet to catch up and update each other about all that's been happening in our lives.
These days, how many times have we been guilty of making empty promises online that "we have to catch up soon!" but never did. Why? Well maybe because we are already so well informed by all the in-our-face updates about our friends' lives so much so that we perhaps feel there's no actual need to meet up to talk or catch up in person..
Simply put, the reason for wondering what's going on in each other's lives, for missing friends.. is now filled by the very presence of this convenient connectivity online. Its sad but true that we're all taking for granted and unintentionally forsaking actual face to face quality time because we probably feel that we already "see them" in all their latest photo uploads anyway.
But while staying in touch online every other second is great, nothing still beats an actual meet up. We may all have a lot of different reasons and explanation but one factor that I personally feel is important in every relationship, is the human touch.
I'm sure you've had those days when you updated your twitter or facebook status about a super happy news you were bursting to tell someone or maybe a night when you were feeling shitty and deep inside all you needed and really wanted was for someone to be there for you. All the comments of concern, congrats and virtual hugs just don't quite feel the same, do they?
I guess being there for a friend ought to mean being there physically from time to time and during significant occasions as well. There are certain feelings or emotions we may not always be able to accurately convey through written words. Sometimes, we and/or our friends don't even want to say much but simply long for a friend to be right beside us, sharing our joy, offering a shoulder to cry on or the comfort of a heartfelt embrace. These are things no amount of technology advancements can ever fill or replace.
Busy schedules may at times be an obstacle and not all of us are social butterflies (as in, we may not actually want to meet up with anyone and everyone) but if you're on holidays right now, maybe its a good time to meet up with the friends you really want to and not just say "we should catch up". Make that effort and initiate something.
I think its important for all of us to make time for the people who matter regardless of how crazy life gets. True that it may not be about the amount of times we hang out with them that defines a relationship, but hey its still about making the effort to maintain a meaningful one. Its about the human touch.
Remember all the memories and good times with our pals? Moments we laughed out loud, moments of meaningful silence, moments where we saw each other at our best and most vulnerable state, moments when we were there for each other, not just spiritually or virtually but physically as well? Perhaps now's a good time to continue creating those moments..
I'll be going for the Top 13 press session as a journalist next monday. Would like to give you the exclusive chance of asking any one of your favorite Idol finalist a question that i'll personally try to pitch to them.
So if you have a question you'd like to ask any of the Singapore Idols in the Top 13, do leave your questions and name in the comments below and i'll try to get them answered for you..
_
Hey, I got a few of your questions but i'll not make it public yet
Look out for the answers from them in the next Vlog :)
Everyone's excited about the date today. Only once for 12 years do we get a special day like this. I think we're a really lucky generation because we live in a time where we get to witness so many things that will probably never happen again in a million years!
Today's a particularly special day for me because my sister and mom are finally returning from the States and on her birthday. The real bummer though, is that I won't be able to pick them up at the airport tonight but i'm so taking the first cab home after i'm done at the studio.
Tomorrow's my dad's birthday (cute right, one after the other! haha) and i'm going to bring the family out for dinner. Its going to be awesome. Together again after like a bloody long time apart. My wish for 09.09.09 and birthday promise to my parents is to be a better son, every day till the end.
Actually, you know what.. lets all do something really cliche and make a wish on this "momentous date" and hope that this wish of ours will come true in 99 days (so like, before 17 December)..
_
99 wishes in 99 days..
I'd like to specially invite you (any 99 people who'd like)
to make a wish on 09.09.09
Just express your wishes in the comments button below
(You can comment anonymously if you're too shy)
And we'll check back and see what happens in 99 days
_
Even though 09.09.09 is now over
Please do keep making those wishes if you want to..
I'll archive all your comments and lets all check back on this post
I love boarding the morning bus after the rush hour when its not so crazy. Seats aplenty and evident peace and calm. Everything moves along at a much slower pace. A stark contrast to the mad scene it would've been earlier..
Up on to the bus, greeting the bus captain with a smile and making my way to an empty seat at the back of the bus. I don't ever jack my ears with blasting music in an attempt to shut myself off from the world, instead i'll just observe everyone and everything around me.
The changing scenery outside, the different people boarding and alighting the bus. All these faces, they each have a story to tell. All these places, they all have a history. Quite often, I drift off into my world of thoughts..
I guess its moments like these when we take a moment to observe the world around us that we actually realize certain things that might never have crossed our minds. I like long bus rides. Just sitting, observing and thinking. It gives me a lot of inspiration to write sometimes.
One day soon, i'm going to take a day off my everyday life and just hop on a long bus ride to nowhere with nothing but a notebook and pen. Oh, I actually thought of this quote while on the bus this morning..
I've not had much time to actually chill out with friends or on my own this holidays. Schedule's practically packed from morning to night and it doesn't even end there when I get home at the end of the day.
Most nights, i'd stay up reflecting on the day's event(s), practicing and working on areas I feel needs to be improved on. A lot of people simply see the fun and glam side of the things I do, but its actually a lot of hard work and sacrifice..
What motivates me though is knowing that i've got loved ones supporting me and the fact that I love and enjoy what i'm doing. I want to keep challenging and pushing myself further and to be better.
Anyway, quite a number of you guys have been emailing me asking "how can I get these opportunities you're getting/ where do I even start?". Hmm I'd like to share with everyone else what i've replied you guys.. its not just about getting the opportunities but more importantly, if you're even ready for these opportunities.
Think about it, if you're given the opportunity of a lifetime.. are you confident that you're ready for it? Chances are, you'll either do a decent job or screw up real badly and tarnish not just your own reputation but that of the organizers.
I've had some unbelievable offers which I had to turn down because I felt I wasn't ready for them. Its an honor to be approached but I really want to be confident that i'll be able to do a good job and not just accept for the sake of another exciting opportunity.
Thing is, its awesome to have big ambitions of wanting to do something or be someone someday but we all have to start from somewhere and I personally feel that the best place to start is always from the bottom.
Thats where you truly learn about the importance of humility, the shit treatment you have to endure and basically how its not all fun and glamorous as you might have assumed but a lot of hard work and effort. Its all these experiences that will really benefit you and help you mature.
And if you are serious about wanting to one day realize whatever dream of yours, don't just dream and talk.. do something about it. Things are never going to happen simply with you fantasizing or whining without doing anything.
Make that effort to seek out or create your own opportunities. Not all of us are that lucky but with hard work and determination, we WILL get somewhere eventually. In the meantime, keep practicing and prepare yourself for that moment. You'll never know when it might happen but be ready for it when it does.
On a personal note, besides all the hosting gigs in the month of September, i'm actually also working on my journalistic ambitions and that of a producer-presenter (plus a few other goals and projects).
People see me more as a host at the moment but i'd really like to be a journalist someday. I love writing. I love going out into the field interviewing people, uncovering stories that needs to be told, making the public aware of certain neglected issues of importance and giving voice to the minority.
I use this blog as my platform of expression about my thoughts and experiences. Sometimes, many times in fact, I want to write deeper about a certain topic but I refrain myself from doing so. I have to.
Some people may stubbornly argue that "a blog is where we express absolutely anything and everything we want to say". That, is true only to a certain extent. You can't just bitch or rant on a globally public domain without expecting a backlash for something wrong or bad you might have said.
We have to be responsible and take responsibility for what we write.
I've gotten into trouble with a few controversial pieces that i've made public before (i'm actually serving 30 hours of Corrective Work Order as punishment at the moment). Often, the fault is mine but there have also been times where I feel i'm treated or judged unfairly for the things I write.
My situation with this blog is such that I may get a lawsuit for certain things I expose, I may be expelled from school if I cross the line on delicate matters, I do get emails from concerned parents about explicit content, I have to brace the tons of hate mails and vulgar comments over a "sensitive" issue.. heck, I might even get deported from Singapore if I ever write anything negative about our Government.
All that because some of the specific people who actually reads this blog are not just friends but teachers, principals, students, directors, government officials, parents, local celebrities, the press, international viewers and you.
Its not exactly something i'm proud of to be completely honest. My blog is constantly being monitored by some of the above mentioned and any wrong content can (and already has) land me in deep shit.
Life under scrutiny.
Somedays, I really wonder if its all worth it? I can be writing about a subject with good intentions but have it completely misconstrued and be misunderstood which may then result in a flurry of insults and personal attacks or possible punishment.
Its not cool when what I write evokes the wrong or hostile reactions. It hurts when people direct insults at me and start false accusations just because they perceive me a certain way based on their misjudgments over a certain entry.
I'm not implying what I write is always right or that you have to agree with me (thats why I always invite you to comment on the specific issue and share your point of view) but i'm willing to listen and learn from you or my mistakes that I might have failed to see initially. Please do correct me through constructive feedback if I might have done or ever am wrong.
I've contemplated shutting down this blog many times. Sometimes the negativity really tears me up inside. I'm only human after all. But its the little moments and occasional random messages and comments from some of you saying how a certain entry inspired or made you smile that makes me smile as well.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my entries and its always especially nice knowing that a certain post I might have written made a positive impact or difference in your life in little ways.
Its always moments like these that makes me feel that its worth it. Hundreds of people may dislike or disagree with me but if my post reaches out to just one person in a meaningful way, i'm happy for you.
Hmm i'm actually anticipating and bracing myself for a lot more public attention and intense scrutiny over the next few months as I continue pursuing my dreams and endeavors. I know i'm going to be hit hard and crack but no matter how many times I fall, I won't ever give up.
In 15 hours, i'll be heading down to Mediacorp to host the first in-studio live telecast for Singapore Idol. Saying i'm extremely nervous would be an understatement. Its 4am. I can't sleep..
This is so surreal. To be honest I still can't believe that i'm actually doing this. I mean, i'm still really young and pretty new to this whole hosting thing, but i'm grateful that Mediacorp saw something in me to offer this awesome opportunity. I'm keeping my fingers crossed real tight that I won't disappoint them or myself.
I'm a wubbie. Through the season of Idol, I'll be down at the studio every week hosting the segments before the show goes live on tv, in between the breaks and before the results show. Basically, i'm the in-studio cheerleader and i'm pretty damn excited.
As of right now though, i'm freaking out. I'm even more nervous now than I was when I hosted the opening for the Asian Youth Games. But I've got a game plan in mind so i'm just hoping that will work out well.
Hmm this is amazing. Another chapter in the journey of dreams. The best part of it all is that i'm doing what I love and enjoying it immensely. Yes there may be all the elements of emotional drama and mental anxiety but its good because it pushes me.
I do my best every single time I step up on stage and at the end of each show or event, pick up pointers and mistakes I can learn from and work towards improving.
Its a whole learning process. Some days are disastrous but thats where the greatest experiences for growth comes from, throwing in the towel is not an option.
I'm working towards my dreams one step at a time. I know its going to be a tough road ahead and there will be inevitable moments where i'll crumble but i'll press on. At the end of the day, even if I don't achieve certain goals, its the experiences and knowing that I tried that will be priceless.
Tonight, when I pick up the microphone at the studio, it'll mark another personal milestone. So too for the Singapore Idol hopefuls (all the best you 24!). We all have our dreams and we're doing our best to make them a reality..
To you reading this, maybe its time you find that courage in you to take the first step towards your dreams. You'll never know what you can be or how far you can go if you don't ever try. Trust me, the first step will always lead you towards an incredible journey ahead. You just have to believe and work hard..
Anyway, Afiq and I haven't been able to meet up yet again because he's busy with army and I with my own stuff as well but here's a re-upload of one of the earlier songs we covered before.
This one's actually a rather gloomy cover because we were both feeling pretty down that day but oh well, we hope you'll still enjoy because hey that's the very reason(s) why we're doing these song covers.. because we love music and hope to put a smile on your face :)
What do guys typically do when we hang out? Sometimes we play football but most times, we eat, drink, laugh, talk and almost always forget all of life's unpleasant moments during those few few hours chilling with our buddies. In a nutshell, guys are really that simple and its the simple things in life that makes us happy.
Anyway, its been a great weekend and i'm just going to summarize it quickly (I actually wrote out an entire detailed entry but Blogger decided that it hates me and poof the whole entry was gone)..
Saturday morning started with football. Its been ages since I last kicked a soccer ball so even though my whole body's aching in agony right now, i'm really happy. Football is like an essential endorphin for most men.
So the kick about initially started out with a few of my friends (Amar, Jon, Lynn, Irsyad, Davis, Vignesh, Faizal, Yve and Haz) but we were soon joined by other random strangers. Football is the universal language that instantly unites most males, its a phenomenon of the beautiful game.
But I emphasize on "most" because football is a subjective activity and sport that only the passionate will truly understand. Women love their football too, and its highly respectable when they know their stats and not just "how cute Torres is"..
That same afternoon, I met up with my secondary school buddies (Afiq, Justin, Chee Cho, Wei Zhi) at East Coast to check out the Xtreme Championship that was happening at the new skate park.
Those xtreme sport athletes are either insane or extremely brave. I feel nervous just watching them soar high up in the air executing twists and turn but that instantly transformed to absolute awe when they puled off the stunt successfully.
Saturday was blazing hot. Mother nature and her sun (okay not funny) have gone crazy. But please stop wishing for a four seasons ever happening in Singapore because if it starts snowing in our sunny island one day, you'll know we're all screwed big time.
To escape from the heat, we went bowling. First game was crap with none of us actually taking it seriously throwing our balls down the gutter. It was only when we raised the stakes from the second game onwards did the friendly competition intensify. Guys love challenges and we hate to be the one who loses.
Catch up on old times and life over dinner with these friends that i've known for almost 7 years now. They're all in the army or about to serve while i'm still a freaking year and a half away. But its awesome meeting up, reminiscing the troubles of secondary school and updating each other about our current lives.
Girls, if you've ever wondered what guys talk about specifically when we're alone together.. well truth is, our conversations ALWAYS revolve around past hilarious or embarrassing incidents we'd never fail to laugh about, our manly obligations for the love of Singapore, horror camp stories, football (but of course), cars and how "fine" they are at top speed, sex and the female population.
But you know the really great thing about guys, well the more "traditional males", is the brotherhood we share. Cliche but true. When we guys divulge our secrets, it will stay a secret. We know we've got each other's backs and its a certain unspoken trust we don't break.
Anyway, today my dad brought my brother and I out for dinner at some chinese restaurant serving menu items I was completely illiterate to but astonished at the prices. I don't like these high class places with small portions of food serving. I'd really much rather pay more for more even if the food isn't top notch.
Still, it really was the rare occasion of the 3 males in the family spending quality time out together that was something. Quite honestly, I have absolutely no idea when was the last time we even did that!
After dinner, we went for a movie at the cinema. It was a retarded movie (First Year) but it kind of was the only available one, so yeah. Films with cheap laughs are quite pointless though. At the end of the film, you go away thinking okay that was dumb and it wasn't even that funny.
Romantic chick flicks are actually one of my favorite movie genres and i'm not embarrassed to admit it. As predictable as the ending always is, its the whole story line and the meaning behind it that distinguishes a good movie from a lousy one? And I like touching happy endings.
Hmm its been a really good weekend. Finally played soccer, finally caught up with secondary school buddies, finally went bowling and a movie and actually spent time out with my father and brother for probably the first time but definitely not the last.
Looking back on all the injuries and operations i've had before, its a miracle that i'm still alive today. Deep down I know that someday, my luck's going to run out. But when it happens, I don't want to regret not having lived my life to the fullest and with meaningful purpose while I was (and still am) able to.
I've had many near fatal accidents and moments.
When I was a kid, I always imagined myself as Batman. I'd ride my bicycle as if it was some awesome Batmobile bike, going as fast as my short little two legs could paddle. I rode across the park, onto the field, up the hill and down the stairs..
That was the first time I laid in my own pool of blood. That was the first time I had to get a stitch that would scar my forehead for the rest of my life. But I survived, Batman always does.
You'd think that I would have learnt from that painful lesson and be more sensible on wheels after that incident but nooo.. who the heck thinks of fatal accidents and the ultimate price to pay when you're 6 years old?
I just wanted to play.
Roller skates, high speed, out of control, edge of the drain, lots of blood. Somehow, I cheated death yet again. The back of head actually crashed against the edge of the drain and another permanent scar took its mark on my head where hair never grew again but I lived.
I continued doing a lot of foolish stunts and ended up in hospital quite often all through my childhood and teenage years. It was only during that one operation that somehow changed my life and how I treated it.
Its not funny when the doctor tells you they'll do their best but can't promise anything. Its like saying, "this may be your last moment".. but someone up there must really love me because I pulled through on that operation table that could've been my death bed.
Now and forever, a long scar across my stomach reminds me of the biggest battle wound, victorious in another fight against death. But still, there were more trips to the hospital. I guess my body is just simply messed up.
There was this one time when my vision got clouded with blood and I really thought I was going to go blind, then there was another where my heart was beating so incredibly fast I was gasping for air and almost blacked out..
Anyway today, my dad took the day off to accompany me for a medical consultation. I've been referred to a specialist for further examination. Yes, i'm perfectly fine at the moment, no I don't wish to talk about it in details.
Hmm.. you know the strange thing is, even if it ever comes to it now or in future, i'm somehow not that afraid of facing it anymore. I mean, we all have to leave someday but its not the end that matters so much, its the journey we're on that does.
Sometimes all we need is a little catastrophe to seriously wake us up from our world of denial and delusion. So while we still can, we shouldn't channel all our energy on negativity all the time but learn to smile and make the most out of every single day and cherish every moment.
I'd just like to end this by asking you to take some time to ponder.. when was the last time you seriously thought about what you've been, you are and you want to do with your life? Its never too early to do something about it but sometimes, it may be too late..
Okay i'm seriously annoyed as I type this because Blogger's still being all weird. Its like, I do want to write about a lot of things running through my head these days, but I get put off by how messed up my page looks.
Hmm.. I've been receiving quite a few once-in-a-lifetime opportunities recently but I think its really important not to get carried away and saying yes to every single amazing invitation. I really need to take time to ask myself if its the right thing and time to do so.
Seize the moment, yes, but am I even ready for that moment?
I believe there's always a right moment for everything, sometimes we have to take risks to discover that "right moment". But I personally feel that it should never be at the expense of others suffering because you weren't ready for it.
I'm humbled that people see something in me to offer such unbelievable opportunities but I want to be able to confidently accept knowing that i'm ready and will deliver something special. Right now, "doing my best" is still not good enough and I know it. I've declined some of these offers but I'm not giving up. I'm going to be working harder and pushing myself further.
Anyway, I'm still damn excited about September! Besides hosting and all, i'll be embarking on a few personal projects that i've always wanted to start on. And I also want to do fun stuff like soccer, beach hang out, stay overs, all-you-can-eat buffets, bowling, movies at the actual damn cinema and a whole lot of other things together with friends this holidays.
I've been chasing my dreams but its time to start living life a lot more meaningfully as well. The road's not always going to be all cheery but i'm just going to try to wake up each morning with a smile and be that little positive difference. Its going to be awesome days ahead.. happy holidays! :)
I always look forward to new surprises in my inbox everyday. I get messages from the extremely amusing to the most amazing ones ever. Life's been good. Life's been really good.
Some mornings, I still wake up reminiscing on all the crazy things that have happened in the past 8 months, not daring to pinch myself in case I wake up from this unbelievable dream and lose the precious memories I share with all the people i've gotten to know and am grateful for in my life.
I'm just one Advertising paper away from the holidays, though its not going to be much of a break because my schedule's sort of already filled up all the way till 31st December 2009.
But despite the hectic days ahead, i'm going to make the effort and time to meet up with friends i've always said "we've got to catch up soon (but never did)" and do something meaningful in life and for others.
This year, has been and will be the best one of all my 20 years.
I'm actually not allowed to talk about anything specific regarding Singapore Idol because of certain conditions. I really wouldn't want to mess with Mediacorp or get any of the contestants into trouble for violating terms either.
But seeing all the negative status updates flooding my Facebook News Feed during and after tonight's show (or every episode rather), I just thought I had to say this..
Its easy for us, the viewers, to simply sit infront of the television laughing at those Idol hopefuls crying over some "silly dream", you say. Its easy for us to pass off a comment saying "they suck, they can't sing, they're such a joke"..
Well here's the thing.. while its easy for us to make judgments and to publicly mock or insult them, it really isn't easy going through what they've been through, are going through and will be going through.
I'm sure you know how much it hurts when people make wrong judgments or accusations about you without actually knowing you or the matter at all. You've probably felt infuriated when someone bitched about you.
A lot of times, things are not what they appear to be. Please don't be so shallow as to judge these individuals based on what you see on tv and think you're cooler because "at least i'm not making a fool of myself on national tv".
Its so convenient to criticize them but for what? Because they dared to dream? Because they were actually brave enough to chase that dream while we're sitting in front of the television feeling envious wondering what we're doing with our own lives?
There's absolutely no doubt about the talent these contestants possess. They might have looked or sounded far from perfect to you but hey, when you're actually standing on that Idol stage with the whole of Singapore watching.. its crazy shit. If you think you're better, why don't you give it a shot?
Anyway, the one thing I really love about the concept of Idol is that all these contestants you see on the show are really your average people off the streets. But they've got a talent, they've got a dream and they've got courage to pursue it.
The top 24 will soon be revealed of which you (and the judges) will decide who makes the top 12 of Season 3 and ultimately, who becomes your next Singapore Idol.
But instead of dissing, why don't we give them our encouragement and support? I'll definitely be cheering them on through the season, will you?
Remember the days before mobile phones, where we depended on those public pay phones to get connected? Sometimes, it was quite a chore looking for those bright orange telephones or silver phone card boxes wasn't it?
Then came the convenience of handphones. Communicating with friends and family became so much easier! Many of us even proclaimed mobile phones to be the greatest invention of our time..
But we spoke too soon.. something else came along. Something that changed the way we, and everyone else around the world, lived forever.. the internet.
Anyone and everyone around the world is now just a click or webcam away and we get all the latest news and Hollywood gossip by the second! Our lives now involves the internet, or some would even say that the internet IS our life, we simply can't live without it.
I personally use the internet a lot and i'm defintely not alone. I mean, you can just walk into any polytechnic or university during lecture these days and i'll bet lunch that everyone's either on Twitter or Facebook, staying connected with friends who're just a seat away or halfway across the world.
Schools are like a wireless dream because we stay connected everywhere on campus. The only annoying thing sometimes is how the connection really lags, or gets cut off while we're downloading documents. Certain websites or applications such as MSN are also permanently blocked on the school network.
And when we get "disconnected" the second we leave campus, we'd usually be rushing to the nearest library, Starbucks cafe, Macdonalds or any wi-fi spot offering free internet.
How can we possibly afford to be offline when friends are constantly updating their twitter statuses by the second? Guys, can you really live through the agony of being stuck in traffic on the way home while your favorite football team is playing a big match? Don't you just wish you can stay connected online anytime anywhere?
You know i've always thought about this during long rides on the MRT. Wouldn't it be awesome if I could just log on to Facebook to update and be updated with friends on the train instead of staring at random strangers all the way to Punggol?
If schools can have a wireless network campus wide, it'd certainly be a dream if Singapore became the first fully wireless nation where internet can be accessed anywhere from the toilets in Jurong to the beaches at East Coast!
Well, "Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen" and every internet users' dream is now a reality..
SingTel, Singapore's most reliable network, now offers the very first Broadband on Mobile exclusively for us youths! Which simply means.. no more hassle looking for those wi-fi spots with limited and restricted connections!
We can now stay connected through seamless internet wherever we are!
When you sign up for the plan, you'll be given a portable modem with a data sim card. Just plug the modem with the data sim card into your laptop and hey, you'll be online! Its that simple.
From now till 28th August, you only need to pay $14.50 per month when you sign up for this exclusive offer. That's half the regular monthly subscription rate! Plus, a chance for you to win tickets worth $596 each to the Formula One race happening next month!
And if you seriously think about it, you'd definitely already be saving on those Macdonald meals and Starbucks coffee just by having your very own internet connection whenever and wherever you want it..
Exactly a week ago, my mother left us (father, brother and I). The house has never been this quiet. Home doesn't quite feel the same. Seems like we only realize what we often take for granted when its gone..
My mom flew off to the States on the 9th of August to join my sister (who's been working there for a couple of months now) for a mother-daughter traveling trip around the US. While they're probably having a blast going on shopping sprees and exploring the Grand Canyon, 3 men are trying to survive back home in Singapore..
Hmm.. I've never ever done what i'm about to do before (or perhaps only briefly at best). Reason being that given the "scrutiny" I have to endure a lot of times, I want to protect them from the public and unwanted attention. But for the first time in this rather intimate entry, i'm going to write about my family and share my thoughts about the subject..
There are 5 of us in my family. My dad, my mom, my elder sister, my younger brother and myself. I wouldn't exactly say we're the close, picture-perfect kind of family because we do have our own issues and disagreements from time to time but at the end of the day, no matter what the problem may be, we will always go through the roller coaster of life together.
My dad grew up without a father in his life. In his early years, he never had the chance to understand the feeling and meaning of family. It was different with my mom though. She was brought up in a typically traditional korean home with 5 sisters and a brother where family meant everything.
I'd describe my sister as the kind of role model student and filial daughter. Graduating from NUS, getting a good job, basically living life on that "ideal" pathway most Singaporean parents would want their child to be on. My younger brother is quite the opposite. He is naturally gifted but simply cannot be bothered with a lot of things at this stage of his gaming life..
..while I, am the dreamer.
Anyway, the incident that actually inspired me to bring this issue about family up, was that part in the National Day rally speech where Prime Minister Lee mentioned about implementing laws to ensure parents are taken care of by their children in their old age.
Personally, I think its a joke that people have to be forced to fulfill their duties as children. Sure there have been times or even incidents now where we get so angry with our parents that we've threatened to "cut ties and leave home once we're legal".
But is that what we really want or was it something that was uttered in a moment of fury that we'd live to regret if it truly happened? What if your words crushed them so bad that something terrible happens and those words were and will always be the last thing you said to your dad or mom?
What if you came home one day to be told that your "annoying sibling who you really hate" met with an accident and was now fighting for his or her life in the emergency room? Will all the petty fights and quarrels you've had still matter?
Family, to many is (and should be) the most important thing in life. Conflict is inevitable but when the world turns its back on you, your family will still, have always and will always be there.
But we often don't care. Too busy, too much pride, all the anger we've bottled up and never let go.. its usually only too late before we actually realize we've let the moment of now slip by and lost what's most important in our lives.
Some of us blame the fact that we're unlucky to have been born into a bad family. But just take a second to seriously ask yourself.. have they failed you, or have you failed them?
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes.
If I were to take my family as an example, i'll be honest and admit that there have been a lot of times I've let them down. My dad, who didn't have a father figure to look up to growing up, struggles to be the best father he possibly can for us every day of his life. Sometimes, my mother cries through the nights because she misses her family back in Korea.
Then there are those instances where we go through emotional hell over issues or incidents so intense, one of my sibling or I would scream really dreadful things and threaten to leave home and never ever return..
Why am I sharing all these?
Because I really believe that we shouldn't give up on each other so easily, that no matter what we ever go through in life or within the family, we should stay with our families to help each other through anything and everything together.
Some things may be beyond our control. Our loved ones leave unexpectedly, our parents get divorced and things like that. But while we still can, we should really love our families and treasure every moment we have with them.
We shouldn't and don't need a law to tell us how to be a family. Family is where our lives began and as much as its possible, no matter what happens, it should always stay that way till the end..
So today was a big day. The day the short listed group of sports presenters found out which of the 26 sport we will be hosting for at the Youth Olympic Games (YOG) next year..
At 9am, we gathered at the YOG head quarters, all 100 odd of us from hosts to announcers and commentators. Just being there was already an honor in itself. We were as Mark Richmond, Head of Sports Presentation, puts it, "the chosen ones, the top 100" out of the hundreds who tried.
After the cheers and congratulations, it was then time for the dramatic and highly anxious moment. There were 26 tables in the room. Each table represented a YOG sport we were going to be allocated to one at a time. We had absolutely no idea who belonged where and what sport each table number represented..
One by one, our names were called and we were placed into one of the 26 tables. As each new person approached the table they were assigned to, we soon realized they were the team mates and fellow sports presenters we'll be working together with for that particular sport during the YOG.
Finding out who was going to which table was pretty damn exciting but the biggest question every single one of us wanted an answer to was.. what is our sport?
Finally, after the last person was called out and placed in one of the groups, it was THE moment. I was at table number 11 with two other pretty hosts Stephanie and Kimberly (and really hoping it was the swimming table). The sports for the first 10 tables were revealed and swimming, was still unannounced.
"Table 11, you guys will be doing.." Mark said before hitting the button that flashed.. Athletics. (i'm also going to be involved in Sailing)
I have to admit I was caught a bit off guard there for a second and was like "oh". Felt pretty sad because ironically, being in track before, I really wanted to host for Athletics during the Asian Youth Games (AYG) but was put to Swimming instead and I actually grew to love the pool and the sport!
But more on that later.
After all the 26 sport we were going to be involved in were revealed, we then had to do a photo shoot and a bit of filming. Apparently over the months leading up to august 2010, we will be introduced to the media and public as the faces and voices of the Youth Olympic Games.
There will also be intensive training sessions to prepare us so it looks to be a long and exciting road ahead and i'm sure every single of us in that room is really honored to have been chosen and looking forward to everything ahead of us.
Now back to personal thoughts..
Before AYG, I knew absolutely nothing about swimming. But the experiences and atmosphere my awesome co-host Kelly Latimer and I along with Mark Richmond created and shared together with the athletes and supporters at the AYG brought the world of swimming to a completely new high, literally.
The Asian youth swimmers were amazing, the crowd was fantastic, the international media and delegates loved and praised our sports presenting swim team for a job well done at the end of AYG.
It was also through the swimming event that I actually got to know and became eventual friends with some of our national swimmers like Quah Ting Wen, Rainer Ng, Amanda Lim, Lionel Khoo (they're all really dedicated champion athletes and extremely nice people) and a few of the swimmers from Korea, Taiwan and Hong Kong.
As we were saying our goodbyes after the last race at AYG, I even said to these new foreign friends that "we'll meet again for the YOG next year" with a smile and a hug. But now that i'll be hosting a different sport, I doubt we'll ever get the chance to meet again and I won't be hosting together with Kelly (we make a good team!), which is really sad.
Athletics. It is supposedly THE sport of the Olympics with many blue-ribbon events featured. I think its going to be a huge challenge raising the bar and bringing a new meaning of "the ultimate sporting experience" to the YOG track and field finals with the whole world watching but thats a challenge i'm looking forward to embrace and make Athletics history together with my new team and Singapore.
_
A new journey and chapter begins on the road to the Olympic dream.. :)
Come friday, we'll be exactly 365 days away from declaring open the first ever Youth Olympic Games (YOG) and i'm ecstatic! I absolutely love sports and to have such a major and prestigious sporting event happening here in our very own country is beyond awesome!
When the whole initial idea of Singapore bidding to host the YOG was first made public, there were a lot of skeptics saying that it'll never happen, we will never win it.Realistically, we were up against countries with HUGE sporting history and culture! Heck, Athens was the birth place of the Olympics!
But we rallied together as a nation supporting our country's bid and on the 21st February 2008, history was made when Singapore was announced the host nation by the International Olympic Committee (IOC).
I clearly remember that day. It was either going to be Moscow or Singapore and for ONE intense minute, every single person in the country probably didn't move, didn't breathe, didn't dare to make a sound seconds before the official announcement was made..
"The International Olympic Committee has the honor of announcing, that the first summer Youth Olympic Games in 2010 are awarded to the city of... Singapore!" declared Jacques Rogge, President of the IOC.
I literally screamed for joy and pride as did the rest of the nation that very moment! We actually did it! We actually won and the Olympics was coming to our shores! The first ever Youth Olympic Games! It was and is going to be history made not just for Singapore but the whole world!
Mark these dates down because on the 14-26 August 2010, we will welcome and see over 3,000 of the world's best young athletes and future sports stars aged between 14-18 years old compete in 26 different sports (which i'll probably write about in subsequent entries).
Its going to be awesome and I reckon it will definitely be a massive improvement from the recently concluded Asian Youth Games. The whole world will be watching, and i'm optimistic that we as a nation and people, will do our absolute best in one of the world's biggest and most historic sporting moment ever!
On a personal note, i'm extremely honored to have been selected to be part of history.. hosting at the YOG 2010 is definitely going be the highlight of my life! :)
The Bad News: Will be arranging a meeting and speaking to representatives from Starbucks later this month to discuss the idea. But the "bad news" is, word has it that Starbucks is apparently not very keen on the idea but that's really just word on the street. I'll keep you updated on the official response..
The Good News: Regardless of whether or not Starbucks agrees to the proposal, there are already plans from the Alumni to bring in a cozy cafe comparable to Starbucks to our campus. Also, unofficial news as of now is that we can expect a new addition at Our Space in the near future. So definitely something to look out for.. :)
I did my very first commercial voice over in a studio at Ubi today and it was such an awesome experience! It felt really cool just being in the recording room hearing myself do the lines with a professional studio microphone (the kind that singers record their songs with) and a sound engineer directing me behind the glass window.. 
I've decided to stop producing Vlog on Idol.. because I don't have as much time as I used to these days (school's starting in 2 weeks) and I guess it was just something thats wasn't appreciated at all. 
The Xtreme Championship 2009
The region's top xtreme athletes were here to compete
Getting all geared up
For gravity defying stunts
The crowd captivated by all the adrenaline pumping action
Look who was there as well..
I don't know who this dude from Japan is..
..but he was literally on fire!
The skateboarders certainly impressed with their stunts too
Your future X Games champion?
Scorchingly hot but awesome day at the championship
Hosting for the one year countdown to YOG
It was a carnival like atmosphere
The teams getting briefed by the referee
And we're ready for some football!
Speaking with Randall Tan
The celebrities getting warmed up for their game
Then it was finally the match the crowd was waiting for
Kick off!
The celebrities certainly played their hearts out
And were all smiles despite losing the game
There was also some street basketball action
FIBA 3-on-3
Even Ronald Macdonalds was there to join in the fun!
But the ones who really knew how to have an awesome good time..
..were the youths!
With Goh Kee Nguan
The party was just getting started..
Cheerleaders wowed the crowd with their gravity defying stunts
While dancers gave everyone a visual treat
The unveiling of the Countdown clock on the steps of City Hall
Deputy Prime Minister S. Jayakumar 
Then it was time to countdown to 20:10!
Every single person present was really into it..
The official moment that marked one year to the start of.. 
Roving hosts of the event
